Spring Fever

Mama Kat's Prompt #4: Take a walk through your neighborhood this week and share some pictures of what Spring looks like where you live.

Oh, this is an easy one in the land of blooms and tombs. I didn't really venture into the 'hood. Here are a few of the sights in my yard. Flowers are named either by where I acquired them (the Home Depot azalea) or by their given names (yes, Hanky-Panky is a real name for one variety of azalea).

The yard art all acquired alliterative names, based on the type of critter presiding in the garden. And Cherub ~ an old busted fountain, actually, that I acquired for 40 bucks at a junk store called The Bargain Den ~ is, well, a cherub, and you know how I feel about those. Enjoy!

Hanky-Panky

Cherub

Rock, Paper

Eastern Redbud

Home Depot

Triple Threat

Fred

Purple

Ronnie

Dandy

Arnie

Dead Head

Eggstravaganza

The Spy Who Loved Me

I don't want to brag, but celebrity-spotting is a regular occurence in the DC area. Hilary rushing to a meeting. Condi leading a motorcade up the GW Parkway. Reese and Owen filming their latest romcom at Dupont Circle. The "Real World" kids pretending that life is real for them in an old Victorian house in the same neighborhood.

So, I have to admit that I barely flinched 10 years ago when I made the turn out of my neighborhood on my way to work and saw a gaggle of TV cable trucks clustered at one end of the local elementary school parking lot.

I didn't find out until later that day, but one of the most notorious Cold Warriors had been arrested in the 'hood the afternoon before. He'd been caught picking up some cold, hard cash that had been stashed under a bridge in the park near my house.

Former FBI agent Robert Hanssen is now serving a life term at a Supermax prison for selling US secrets to the Russians. This double agent would drop off important documents and pick up reciprocal loot under the bridge during afternoon walks ~ the same route I routinely take. His fellow Fibbies tackled him in the snow in February 2001 after he'd made one of these exchanges. He taped our secrets under the bridge and pocketed their money for 22 years before his past ~ and the law ~ caught up with him.

The reason those TV trucks were parked in my neighborhood that February morning 10 years ago is because Hanssen is ~ was ~ my neighbor. He went on trial, lost his appeal, and was sent away to prison. His family ~ a wife and six kids ~ stayed in the neighborhood.

For years, Hanssen ~ and I must reiterate, I never met the guy, unless I unknowingly passed him or his Russian handlers on the neighborhood walking path ~ and his foibles were fodder for the local gossip mill. Kids searched under the foot bridge in the woods for Russian loot that may have been left behind. My friends would see one of the Hanssen kids walking the family dog and refer sardonically to an encounter with "Spy Kid" and "Spy Dog."

Hollywood even came to the neighborhood five years ago and filmed "Breach," starring Ryan Phillipe (Reese's ex) and Laura Linney. To try to reflect the local ambiance, outside shots were done in the winter. Producers had to bring in snow-making machines to approximate the meteorological conditions from the time of the arrest.

Things, as they usually do, settled down after a while. The Hanssens' story became mere background, dredged up only when visitors inquired.

But now, after all this time, the Hanssens are back in the news. Spy House is on the market, for $500,000 more than the family purchased the modest three-bedroom home 24 years ago. Quite a markup, I'd say.

I'm not sure why Mrs. Hanssen stayed in the neighborhood after her husband had shamed her. I'm not sure why she's vacating the premises now. The press, of course, is having a happy old time of it. I guess the woman hasn't yet paid her dues in full.

The Sun Also Rises

The last day of Spring Break. We suffered through a flawless 80-degree day here in the DC 'Burbs. Up at Oh, Dark Thirty (aka 5 a.m.) tomorrow to return to Room 215.

Pepper the Cat looks quite content out on our old screened-in porch, doesn't she? Seven more weeks in the trenches. Not that I'm counting, or anything...

Bridge to Nowhere?

San Francisco's famed Golden Gate Bridge looks downright spooky when shrouded in the famous Bay Area fog. Took a cruise out to the Pacific, passing under the bridge twice.

San Francisco makes even the most trite of trips a romantic voyage. God, I love being a tourist!

I Left My Heart in San Francisco

Mama Kat's Writing Prompt #1: Something students these days should know.

When I saw this Writer's Workshop offering, I knew I had to compose my entry in the form of a Top Ten, since the body of work on this topic is voluminous. I chose, instead, to be compact, while succinctly trying to cover all the bases.

10. You and your Mother should know that when you run into me at the grocery store that I'm shopping for my family's dinner. This is decidedly not an opportune moment for a quickie parent-teacher conference.

9. You should know that respect is a two-way street. When you say something mean or thoughtless, I often take offense. Words hurt.

8. You should know that manners matter. When I ask you how you're feeling at 7:20 a.m. on a Monday, you shouldn't say "I'm tired." Isn't that stating the obvious? You should also respond with a pleasant rejoinder. "I'm fine thank you, Mrs. Scribe. How are you?" would be a good place to start.

7. You should know that when I assign you a difficult task (paper, timed writing, multiple AP journal entries, etc.), I'm putting myself through twice as much work as I'm loading up on you. In order to be a decent teacher, I must grade all those papers, you cotton-headed ninny muggins!

6. You should know that when you do an assignment for me, you should at least pretend that you care about your work. Typing (and I use that word loosely) an assignment, printing it out, and stapling it backwards and upside down without giving it another thought is not your best effort, now, is it?

5. You should know that even though I was born when the world was very, very young, I'm not a prehistoric throwback. In other words, life did not start when you entered this blessed world, nor are you the be-all, end-all authority on everything. Sometimes a life lived long is a life well-lived.

4. You should know that when you disrespect me, you disrepect yourself.

3. You should know that personal grooming in public is disgusting. No hair-styling, makeup-applying, nor zit-popping in Room 215. Thank you.

2. You should know that when you don't listen, you're only hurting yourself.

1. You should know that I have a life, too. I just spent a week of that life in San Francisco, reading, sleeping, walking around, taking a few photos and thinking about worldly concerns that don't concern you. As it should be, I reckon. See you Monday morning, OK?

The Color Purple

Just Plugging Along

Family dynamics being what they are, I couldn't help but think of our 42nd President, Bill Clinton, when I saw this gem during my morning walk.

"Sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs," he is known to have quipped.

Time to Make the Donuts

The refreshing balm of spring breezes finally arrived in my part of the world this week, as I embarked on the annual journey known as Spring Break.

During my travels I always look for a sign of the times. When I saw this one in San Francisco's Noe Valley yesterday, I experienced a certain "ah ha!" moment. Something about the congruence of the street sign ~ Church ~ and the shop sign ~ Happy Donuts ~ certainly spoke to me. That and the mid-afternoon fog drifting down the hills from the ocean.

Easter is the time of rebirth. I'm recharging my batteries on the Left Coast this week, where I will sleep late, eat too much and wander into a few sticky situations ~ I hope.

Shall We Dance?

Today is the fourth anniversary of the Virginia Tech massacre. Instead of focusing on the negative ~ 32 innocent people dead ~ I wanted to thank Leslie Sherman for sharing her happiness with those of us from Our Humble High School.

This snap, old and yellowing and printed in a student newspaper long ago ~ was taken at the National Honor Society's "Senior Prom," in the spring of 2005. Leslie was a senior then herself. The kids dressed up and visited the local senior center in all their promtime regalia. As awkward young folks, they didn't really know what to do until Leslie and this dapper gent got up and cut a rug across the community room's tile floor.

Leslie was so full of fun and life. No one deserved to die that day in Norris Hall. Leslie was in her French class. Ten students in her class, plus the French teacher, were gunned down at point-blank range.

Leslie had just turned 20. Her friends commemorated her 24th birthday seven days ago. Go with God, Leslie.

Rest in peace, Virginia Tech Hokies.

Up the Down Staircase

Trumped Up Charges?

Student A: Mrs. Scribe, did you know that the President is not a US citizen?

Student B: Isn't that illegal or something? How could that be?

Mrs. Scribe: Where did you hear that?

Student A: Donald Trump said it. On Fox.

Student B: How could you believe a man like that?

Student A: He's got a lot of money. He must be smart.

Student C: He's kind of a loser, I think.

Mrs. Scribe: How so?

Student C: Look at his hair.

Try It...You'll Like It

A recent early-morning class in Room 215 featured several clips of Super Bowl commercials. The following conversation ensued:

Mrs. Scribe: So, how does the advertiser try to get the consumer's attention?

Student A: Um, with sex?

Student B: No, dummy. You boys always think the same. The advertiser is trying to show that men and women think differently.

Mrs. Scribe: Well, you both could be right. What's the hook?

Student C: Um, we're waiting to see what happens after his rant about sex?

Student B: We're supposed to decide that Pepsi Max is better than sex.

Mrs. Scribe: Is this believable, then? I don't really know. I've never tried Pepsi Max.

Silence. Then, Student A and his little 16-year-old friends start to giggle.

In a Jam?

This is what the A.M. commute looks like on a highway near my house. No, I don't (often) drive this way. Plus, since I go to work at Oh, Dark Thirty every morning, I tend to avoid these kinds of traffic jams. Instead, I usually have the pleasure of witnessing a spectacular sunrise from Room 215 every morning.

Depending on who you're talking to at any given moment, DC has either the first- or the second-worst traffic in the nation. It's hard to believe, sometimes, that we live in such an otherwise spectacularly breathtaking region.

I did, however, get stuck in a little bit of a jam when driving home Friday afternoon. Two days ago, you may recall, the airwaves were abuzz with news of an imminent federal government shutdown, and I heard more than I wanted to know from various pontificators on the all-news radio station.

The DC politicos, however, dodged that particular bullet, with some kind of last-minute deal that nobody~even the parties involved~understands. Which is a darn shame, if you ask me.

Between reducing all the hot air on Capitol Hill and taking all those cars off the road, shutting down the government would be good for the environment, wouldn't it?

Be True to Your School

Writer's Workshop Prompt #1: Your 15 Minutes of Fame.

Every year about this time, I wonder what I'm doing here. Let me explain.

I'm about to put my 17th high school yearbook (as an adult adviser, not a student!) to bed. As in finito, out the door, see ya when you come back all prettied up at the end of May, when screaming throngs descend on Room 215 because they just have to have a piece of all those high school memories. And then a regular riot ensues.

I don't remember being so enamored of my high school yearbooks. I have four of them, lined up chronologically on one of my basement bookshelves. The only time I look at any of them is...well, never.

But my cherubs, and certainly their friends, are all about the yearbook. The first place a kid looks is the index. More than two mentions in the index signals popularity. And high school is...well, all about one's status in the pecking order. It shouldn't be, but that's another story.

We've made some changes over the years. One of the biggest happened during this year's deadline cycle. We decided that superlatives ~ the "Beautiful People," those of "Best Eyes," "Best to Take Home to Parents," "Best Buds," ~ are not newsworthy, so are not an accurate reflection of the school year. They're just a reflection of how eager the "hangers-on" are to vote for those who "have it all," which is, let's face it, not much. In high school, at any rate.

So the superlatives are gone. Don't know how that will go over with the masses. I'll let you know.

We've also expanded our coverage. This year's book, we hope, will be more representative of the school at large, and not just a love-fest for those in student government or those on Homecoming Court, or the football team, or the cheerleaders. Yes, those high school clichés till hold a certain cache. Big-time.

We've got stunning photos, crisp copy, an interesting theme. The book, for the fourth year in a row, is printed completely in color. The hope is that folks will do more than just remember this rite of passage called high school. They'll cherish it enough to pay big bucks, have their friends sign it, and open it up on the odd occasion when they want to remember what life was like, back in the day.

But along with the memories, comes the headaches. We're just about done correcting 40 pages of proofs. Today I got a notice from the publishing plant that 58 more pages are coming our way in a couple of days. We're trying to finish up the last deadline. My journalistas are rapidly losing focus, and I've got a funny feeling that those pages of memories hold more than one major typo and a couple of other snafus.

Oh, for simpler times, when yearbooks were in black and white, no one wrote captions, and it was cool to pay homage to the Beautiful People.

But I don't remember my high school yearbook creating such a buzz. For better ~ or for worse.

Teach Your Children Well

Who Let the Dogs Out?

In honor of April Fool's Day, my journalistas decided to publish four pages of satire in their most recent newspaper. Here's but a sampling. Made me cry, I laughed so hard. Seriously.

As school drags on, the dogs come out.

This year the school has taken security to the next level. First, they added cameras around our campus to catch skippers and keep our students safe; now they have a new threat for anyone breaking school rules: attack dogs.

“We thought the threat of flesh-eating dogs would keep the students in line,” said Stephen Bryce, head trainer at K-9 College of Training. “The administration thought it would be a good threat to stop skippers while ensuring they are safe.”

It is rare that security dogs kill; however, it has happened in the past. Bryce has been working for K-9 College of Training for more than two years now and in that time has only had to put down 47 dogs for killing a human.

“They are generally nice animals; just when they smell sweat or blood they lose it,” said Bryce. “I think they are just misunderstood.”

Many students are on board with the new program. They believe that skipping has gotten out of hand this year and they support the idea of tighter security.

“It’s about time the administration listens to what we want!” said junior Joy Totheworld. “The people who get lunch every day from their friends, fathers, or go themselves disgust me! Originally I was upset when they [administration] said 'no' to the SWAT team, but I guess the dogs will do the trick.”

On the other hand, younger, weaker students are afraid for their lives. They aren’t sure that having guard dogs is appropriate according to the school district's rules.

“I am afraid that these dogs will take away from my learning experience,” said Ima Freshman. “I have never skipped in my life, but I hear dogs prey on the weak...so I think I am right to be concerned.”

The dogs will be placed in strategic places near doors. The administration says they will not disclose where the dogs will be kept so as to keep the skippers guessing when they are trying to go out to get lunch.

The administration has also hired a new teacher to double as a security guard, to make sure the dogs are in top shape to perform their jobs efficiently.

“I am super excited to be working here,” said former NFL quarterback Michael Vick. “With the NFL being in a lockout I was afraid about my future next year. Thankfully, I have plenty of experience with dogs and was hired on the spot.”

The administration is very excited for the new changes happening here and can’t wait for the dogs to arrive. “It’s going to be a great new start for me and a good way to keep skippers in school,” said Vick.