Sunday, February 27, 2011

Beyond the Blind Side

Beyond the Blind Side

At 6-foot, 4 inches and well over 300 pounds, my former cherub ranked as one of the top offensive linemen in the state. We knew him as The Intimidator on the field, and the Teddy Bear in the classroom.

Unlike some of his high school football brethren, he was interested in learning. He made good grades and joined the Yearbook staff. He worked as hard on his studies as he did on the girdiron.

When top universities recruited him, we knew he'd go far. But he wasn't really interested in the NFL. He wanted to return home and teach.

His field of dreams is now in a special ed classroom in Northern Virginia. He stopped by Room 215 the other day to get some tips. On decorating.

He works with students who have challenging needs. Some have Down Syndrome, others are autistic. He says a bright classroom environment invigorates his charges.

A classroom full of plants, he says, will help his students keep their focus.

I'm busy cutting and rooting and potting right now. He planted a seed, and I'm helping it grow.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

If You Can Read This, Thank a Teacher

My Mom's a Teacher!

Greetings from the front in Wisconistan, the name adopted by tens of thousands of protestors who have converged on the state capitol building in Mad City in the wake of the new governor's plan to slash salaries and benefits of public servants statewide ~ including teachers.

I won't get into the budget details except to say that Wisconsin is in the same shape as most of its 49 bretheren. Not enough cash coming in, too much going out. You may have heard that the federal government's coffers are about bled dry, too.

I must weigh in, though, because my chicas ~ both of whom go to school in the Dairy State ~ have been demonstrating on behalf of all teachers, including their Mommy.

They were walking down State Street, on their way to the Capitol, when they encountered a tea party type. She leered (according to eyewitness accounts) at the sign above.

"She can be replaced, you know," sneered the tea partier.

"By whom," my eldest countered. "You?"

The budget crisis is real, I'm sure. But why start with the teachers? The governor says he'll call out the National Guard to do the jobs of those who walk off the job in protest. I may be biased, but I'd like to see one of those camo-clad warriors in Room 215.

"Well, your classes wouldn't have any discipline problems, that's for sure," opined one of my cherubs, who hails from an Army family. "And we'd all be really, really organized."

But would the kids learn anything? Only, I suppose, that the governor has tried to balance the budget on the backs of those who, for a lack of a better cliché, might figure in shaping their futures.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Dark Side of the Moon


Dark Side of the Moon

It's come to this.

We were herded ~ yes, like the proverbial sheep ~ into an insipid inservice session the other day. One interminable department meeting in the morning, and a gang bang later that afternoon, with 200 or so teachers, administrators, et al, plunking away at laptops in a stuffy lecture hall and trying valiantly to appear semi-interested while an overpaid "education consultant" droned on and on and on and on over a PowerPoint from Hell.

All in the name of Professional Development. And I ask you ~ is there any other kind?

The topic du jour? Building a more "collaborative culture" at our school. We were told to "define success," and to "go for it." We were asked if we were conflicted in our resolutions; or perhaps about conflict resolution. I'm not quite sure.

We allegedly learned how to "believe in one another."

Trust falls came to mind. Remember the scene in the gym from "Mean Girls"?

"I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy."

"Do you even go to this school?"

"No. I just have a lot of feelings."

And you're quite correct if you remember that I haven't received a raise in two years. I think it's all gone to Sister Mary Sunshine, who helped me get in touch with my feelings. Thanks so much for that.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

Your Taxpayer's Dollars at Work

Your Taxpayers' Dollars at Work

June 14, 2004: I submit a work order to maintenance. One of the handles to my classroom window has broken off. Thought the job could be completed over the summer, so that when the cold weather eventually set in, we'd be all cozy.

February 4, 2011: A maintenance man comes to Room 215 to see about repairs.

He: "Looks like they fixed up this window nice."

I: "You're looking at the wrong window."

He: "Huh? Oh, it's that one on the left that's broke? Maybe that's why all that cold air is seeping in."

I: "Perhaps. Do you pride yourself on promptness?"

He: "Yes, ma'am." He scans the almost seven-year-old summons. "I wonder why they sent me out here today?"

I: "Ummmmm...to fix the window?"

He: "You'll have to fill out a work order for that."

Well, Our Humble High School is almost 45 years old. At this rate, I suppose I'll have to wait another decade or so.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

We Are the Champions, My Friends...


We Are the Champions

Must have been my socks,

or lucky Packers pillow?

Green Bay beats Pittsburgh!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling the poetic muse? Scribble a little something, post it at your place,and link back here.
No fuss, nor Mr. Linky muss!


Saturday, February 5, 2011

Happy Birthday!


Blondie


True fact...Blondes have more fun!


Who: Ella Numera Una

What: Spectacular birth

Where: Somewhere in the DC 'Burbs

When: February 5, 1987; approximately 9:02 p.m.

Why: To bring angst, worry and oh, so much joy to those around her

How: We're still not sure, but it involved more than 24 hours of hard labor!

PS: We knew you'd be a special baby...you were born on Hank Aaron's birthday!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

She Who Laughs Last...

Can't Keep a Lid on It


Snippets stolen from my Facebook Friends this past week, some engendered by the Monster Storm that marched across most of the country. Not all are weather-related, though. The Ushanka snap, in my humble opinion, takes the blue ribbon. I know y'all have always wondered what those funny Russian fur fashion statements were called. Means "Ear Hat." Seriously.

10. Our house @ 3 am. Dad snores. Mom can't sleep. Mom leaves Dad for guest room to escape snoring. Falls asleep. Dad wakes to find Mom gone, and, dismayed, goes to find her. Finds Mom. Crawls into bed with her. Snores. Mom returns to original bed. Dad wakes and goes looking for her. Repeat x2. Morning arrives. Both parents are grumpy, not having slept for they spent all night chasing each other around the house.

9. PLEASE BEGIN REFERRING TO MENSTRUAL CYCLES AS "SHARK WEEK."

8. This is perfect Snowgarita weather!

7. Things that are true: a) I worked really hard this weekend; b) I have watched over 12 hours of "Ally McBeal"; c) "a" was entirely the result of "b"; and d) "c" means that my life rules.

6. E: This particular Sudoku makes me feel stupid. K: Nobody can make you feel stupid. What you feel is a choice within your control. E: This particular Soduku offered me the choice of feeling stupid, and I took it.

5. does anyone know how much cookie dough you have to eat before you get salmonella? and does anyone know if salmonella can kill you?

4. dear school. i hate chu.

3. cream cheese frosting and snow. my life is complete.

2. Of course it wasn't until we left the house for the night that I learned the cats had peed in my shoe. Awesome.

1. YURE SO PRETTTAYH!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

¿Qué?


¿Qué?

I'm Melting...

I'm Melting...

Not that any of the frozen precipitation we've received in the past week shows an inclination to melt into little puddles and run down the storm drains, but the snowman pictured above pretty much jibes with the way I've been feeling of late.

Our local post office has an art gallery, of sorts, on one wall. Something for the customers to stare at while waiting in interminable lines. This week's offering is a collection done by preschoolers, entitled "Melting Snowmen."

And I've been turning into a little puddle myself the past week, on account of being so steamed, and all.

Here's the deal. Teachers and students around these parts are stuck between Mother Nature and a hard place. DC straddles the Mid-Atlantic's rain/snow line. Forecasters have a damnable time getting their predictions right, and our district's incredibly moronic and overpaid central office staff has the most ridiculous habit of shutting down the schools at all the wrong times and, conversely, forcing us to make the trek in the worst of weather.

Case-in-point: Last Wednesday, I woke up at my customary Oh, Dark Thirty, and got my decaf green tea percolating. As luck would have it, I logged onto the computer to check my e-mail. First thing in the queue? A notice that schools were closed that day for "inclement weather."

I looked out the window. No rain. No snow. No sleet. No hail. No nothing but the darkness that only 5:30 a.m. can bring.

Turns out that Wednesday was what we call in the business a "freebie." The weather was relatively delightful all day long. Go figure.

The angry Snow Gods did call upon us Wednesday night, wreaking all kinds of havoc with people's commutes (12 hours to drive 10 miles, in some cases) and power lines (almost a week later, some still haven't had the juice turned back on). So that meant Thursday was another day for watching movies and grading papers.

We thought for sure that Friday would dawn, brisk but sunny (it did) and we'd be back in school.

We weren't. Something about power outages at some locations. But what about the rest of us?

Yesterday and today are what's known as "Teacher Workdays." Monday, for getting our first-quarter grades done. Today for mind-numbing inservices. I think Principal Man has planned a fun seminar on teaching to the lowest common denominator, so that everyone on God's Green Earth can pass the ridiculously easy and quite insulting statewide standardized tests. Four or five hours of fun, folks! I think I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a wooden spoon.

Ice is forecast for this morning. But I'm betting that because the cherubs are not required to go to school today, and the buses won't be rolling, our "professional development" will commence on time, at 8 a.m. sharp.

Who cares if dozens of teachers slip and slide and break their necks on their way to school? Not our administration, I'm sure. They're too busy trying to make each other look good to care about those of us who "deliver instruction," as they are wont to say.

And they call themselves "educators." Right.

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