Thursday, July 15, 2010

Here Comes the Bride?

I selected Mama Kat's Prompt #1 this week: Choose a headline from The Today Show Web site and write up an opinion post based on the story you chose.

The bride wore white. Almost everyone else wore Speedos. The groom & all the attendants were decked out in their finest Salvation Army couture.

Summer Wedding, 1

The groom, a fellow summer team coach, felt no need for formalities~or shirt & shoes, for that matter. The maid of honor, the bride's sister, wore her trademark pink.


Summer Wedding, 2

The bride's father, Mr. Fairway, gave her away. The bride's satin gown, clearly designed for a wedding in the winter months, was obtained from the wardrobe of the manager at Ye Olde Swimming Hole. Her great aunt had worn the ensemble sometime in the 1950s during a November wedding.

Summer Wedding, 3

The ceremony, featuring pint-sized attendants, took place before the 3rd meet of the summer season. Many in the congregation remarked that the bride appeared to remain cool & calm despite temps pushing 95 degrees Fahrenheit.

Summer Wedding, 4

One of the bride's favorite 10-year-olds walked her down the aisle/deck. Her father had to attend to his duties as the meet referee, setting up the starting system, et. al., so abdicated his responsibilities to this jaunty gent in the shiny blue evening jacket & glitter bow tie.

The wedding was part of a series of "spirit days," staged before each meet, to boost the team's hopes for victory & to inject some, well, spirit into the proceedings.

I'm sorry, y'all. I had more enthusiasm for Ella Numera Una's faux wedding a couple of years ago than for the high jinx proposed by Bristol Palin & Levi Johnston.

Yesterday's Today Show Web site headline read, and I quote, "Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston Reveal Secret Engagement."

Una got "married" as part of a traditional summer swim team skit. The Palin nuptials are a whole other type of masquerade, if you ask me. And how many of you (I'd like a show of hands) really, truly believe that Mama Grizzly Sarah didn't know that Levi had popped the question?

To put all of this into perspective, I imagine Levi figured that he'd be a whole lot better off being inside the tent, pissing out, than outside the tent, pissing in. A quaint Texas expression. And all too apropos for the shotgun wedding the couple is planning. Vows will be exchanged in six weeks, we're told.

After all of the things Levi has said about Bristol's mom, I'd love to be the fly on the wall for holiday dinners at Casa Palin.

Can you say, "Eating crow"?

25 comments:

Alicia said...

the wedding pics are hilarious! what a way to boost morale! and i'm with you...there is NO WAY that she didn't know they were engaged. what bull! i can't wait to see how this all plays out.

Cheryl said...

What a fun tradition! Um, the swim team's not the Palin's.

Lesley said...

My hubs and I were JUST talking about how "interesting" the Palin holidays are going to be lastnight. HAHAHAHA! Family get togethers...birthday parties...anniversaries. That dude has some serious cojones!

Following your blog now. :)

Steph S. said...

LOL! My thoughts on the Bristol/Levi story exactly! Mama Palin definitely had a hand in this! :) Those wedding photos are too funny :) Thanks for sharing!

Michelle said...

"Hand a hand in this?" That baffoon is running the show which scares me shitless!

Who in their right mind would get back with a guy who posed in Playgirl while bashing your whole family? I mean really, are with this stupid as a society that we believe this load of shit?

If she weren't planning to run for office, these two would never even speak. First they thought they'd get us because she has a vagina now they're sucking the teet of the religious right. It's so been done.

Stopping by from Mam Kats's.

Michelle
http://pietrosmomma.blogspot.com/

Jeanie said...

You've got the Bristol/Levi thing right. What a farce, way more than the wedding in your pics.

Florida Girl Meets the Midwest said...

Okay so that quaint Texan expression is going on my favorite list! Too funny.

Jenn@ You know... that blog? said...

Love your "quaint Texan" expression! Very apropos!

Great pictures and idea for a morale booster - looks like they had a lot of fun with it.

Allyson said...

First of all, I was SOOOO confused about the Swim Team Wedding until I realized it wasn't real. But yay for a picture of Mr. Fairway...where he's not shoveling snow in the reflection of a storm door, I mean. I was thinking "well, I'm not sure how to say this...that's certainly an original way to get married". Shew, I'm so glad I didn't have to fake it. ;)

And I'm SOOO done with the entire Palin family. Done, done, done. I am just waiting for Sarah's next book to come out: How I Murdered My Son-In-Law and Got Away With It, OJ Simpson-Style. Random House Publishing. Due out in less than a year, I would say.

Nance said...

No way in HELL you can deny that kid is yours. Holy crap. I've never seen a daughter look more like her mom, ever.

blueviolet said...

That is one wild wedding spoof!

Sarah said...

I was going to say "at least iron the gown" until I realized it was real. No wonder the courage!

carma said...

loved that swim team wedding. I was thinking it was real for a while there and was going to congratulate you as mother of the bride....

Ronnica said...

Super cute...what a way to encourage team spirit!

Alissa said...

Something tells me this marriage will not last too long.

CaJoh said...

If that was a real wedding, I would have loved the pool party afterwords. Makes you wonder what they would "throw" after the ceremony (perhaps life preservers)

Andrea said...

I love the faux wedding. That would be great fun. As for the Palin get together...I am glad I won't be invited!

Julie M. said...

There's always something going on when it comes to the Palins. I loved those pictures, too funny!

Susie said...

How fun is that?

And yeah...the Palin thing is a joke!

dkzody said...

Do you watch soap operas? I have for, oh say close to 50 years, and this sounds just like a reoccuring plot in those soapy tales.

dkzody said...

Someone mentioned not getting invited to the Palin wedding...yep, that's one invitation I'd be declining.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Oh my how could of I have missed all this fun!
Loved those funny wedding pics ,
Such fascinating folks.
B xx

mama-face said...

I love those photos!!

yep, I laughed out loud when I heard about Bristol and Levi. dumb. so dumb.

louisebah said...

great photos!

Lora said...

that is so funny! Don't be surprised if you see some of those pics go viral, like the ones of the Camden NJ prom or the redneck weddings! Love, love, love it!

And I would get married just to piss off Sarah. Too bad Bristol isn't marrying a girl.

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