Tuesday, July 20, 2010

90210 Emergency

90210

Mr. Fairway & I have been married a good long while. Eons. Probably longer than some of you have been on God's green earth.

Let's just say I've lived with Hubby longer than I lived with my parents.

After watching the sun set on the marriages of so many of our friends & acquaintances over the years, Mr. F. & I have come to a tacit agreement, which pretty much holds our relationship together.

I don't criticize his snoring~too much~if he doesn't criticize my cooking. I'll do the marketing if he'll do the laundry. We'll back each other up when a situation requires the discipline of either and/or both of our chicas.

We're both pretty patient people...at least where marriage is concerned. We each contribute. Life is good, most of the time.

In recent days, however, I've had to lay down the law in my household. Mr. Fairway, who wakes up about 5:15 every morning to go to the gym, has taken to hittin' the hay early. Yup, sports fans, he's sometimes in bed by 9:30 p.m., which pretty much puts a crimp in my social life.

The Hubby's early-to-bed mentality of late also means that by the time I venture upstairs, around 11 or so, he's already way past REM sleep. I call this stage "The Rumble."

Yes, Mr. Fairway snores. But not the cute little middle-of-the-nite hiccups common to many men of middle years. When Mr. F. commits to something, he goes all-out. If you live in the Mid-Atlantic region & you've heard some rumbling recently, it's not an earthquake...it's Mr. Fairway getting in his Zzzzzzzzzzzz's.

And this is where the cast of "Beverly Hills, 90210" come in.

We have only one chica home for the whole of the Summer. Ella Numera Dos is even more of a night owl than her madre & she goes me one better...before she goes to sleep, she likes to watch a little retro-TV on her laptop.

Something about Jason Priestly's pompadour or Luke Perry's soulful glances helps to lull the child to sleep.

Our house is hot upstairs, even with the AC running full-bore. Well, this is DC in July, after all. We've taken to sleeping with the bedroom doors open, to help keep the air circulating. And therein lies the problem.

I'm a light sleeper & I've been surrounded by distractions of late. Sleeping alongside the San Andreas Fault, alone, is almost too much. Now I also must contend with the radioactive chipmunks down the hall.

Ella turns on her laptop, which emits a warm glow thru her open bedroom door. She pops in a "90210" DVD. The combo of the glowing screen & the chirpings of high-tone "Valley Speak," plus the Hubby's off-the-Richter Scale rumblings, are enough to drive a mom to drink.

Which is what I was doing a couple of nites ago. Watching the late news & quaffing a glass of Pinot Noir. Trying to put myself in a California state of mind.

28 comments:

Kristina Churchill said...

Snoring, I can live without it! Funny story, will come back and read more of your posts!

June Freaking Cleaver said...

My sister-in-law swears by ear plugs. She's been sleeping next to my brother for 47 years...and you can hear his snoring before you hit their front door.

She also said, however, it works better if they go to bed at the same time. Luckily, they're both night owls in their retirement.

Amy said...

Haha, def. on the chica's side for this one.

Haddock said...

enjoyed reading this.

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Hello my old friend! I've missed you. I'm so pleased that the 90210 is still alive and well in the younger generation. I grew up with those crazy kids!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com

Nance said...

We're empty-nesters now, but Husband Snoring is a shared issue. So..."I feel you!" Sometimes, Rick has to sleep in the spare room with the door shut, and the kittens and I sleep in The Big Room. It's often, however, that his "Night Work" requires our door to be shut as well! Sigh.

Let me know if you find a Miracle Cure.

knit1kids4 said...

Snoring hubby's.... mine doesn't snore. I lovingly call him a whale. He BLOWS randomly letting out big puffs of air like a whale coming to the surface. It is crazy weird.

Hoping for better sleep for you soon!

blueviolet said...

It is really hard to fall asleep once they're in snore phase!

Jeanie said...

There is no cure for the snoring that I know of, other than separate beds, which I sadly admit I have resorted to at times. Well, maybe a second glass of that Pinot Noir would help.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Ugh, I hate snoring! My hubby doesn't (thank God or I might kill him) but my brother does and during the times I've had to share a room with him on vacations or whatever I've wanted to KILL him. Not even ear plugs help!

Good luck lady!

Tara R. said...

My hubs is a World Class snorer too. Fortunately his is also a heavy sleeper, so I can poke and prod him until he stops, or at leasts long enough for me to fall asleep.

Jamie said...

Maybe ear phones for the chica??? Good luck!

Julie M. said...

Ok, I'm right there with you. My husband gets up at, are you ready for this, 4:30 in the morning to go to the gym and work out! Every weekday. He's nuts. So of course, he's up much earlier than me as well. I so understand where you're coming from.

And I was addicted to 90210. Loved that show!

Lucy said...

I so could have written this post, well, we know not nearly as eloquently, politely and grammatically correct but my point is I feel your pain!

faerwillow said...

~more wine i say...might help lull you to sleep!! mine goes through phases...nights of endless snoring then all of the sudden nights of ever so quite sleep! much luck to you...warm wishes and brightest blessings~

Allyson said...

And how is that working out for you?

I, too, am married to the early-to-be, early-to-rise man who thinks that 9:30 is roughly the same as midnight. Fortunately, there is no snoring involved. But there is a lot of sighing as I tappity-tap-tap my blogging comments into the wee hours of the morning. My husband finally broke down and bought some Bose noise-canceling headphones for when he is studying for his Master's and I'm watching "Love Boat". They seem to be doing the trick. A bit bulky, perhaps, for you but can it really be worse than what you're enduring now??

JennyMac said...

Ear plugs! I take them everywhere I travel too.

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Ah, the true test of relationships - willingness to put up with sleep deprivation.

The Blonde Duck said...

You need to drown your sorrows in pie!

Lauren said...

I've never seen the old 90210, but the new one - eh, I don't like it so much.

Pamela said...

ear plugs and eye masks.
good luck! (:

carma said...

I sound a lot like you and MB quite like Mr. Fairway-- He's up at 5:15 and asleep at 10:15. I'm just getting going at 10:15 :D

Alissa said...

I thought that noise was just the air brakes of the trucks on the highway down the road, but now that you mention it it does sound a bit like snoring. Do those funny looking band-aid type things you stick on your nose do anything for him?

Sarah said...

One would think after so many years the snoring serves as a good sleeping pill for you. :) There are some devices you can get. I'm not sure if they work though.

quilly said...

Socks. Seriously, socks. Preferably Mr. Fairway's dirty ones. Take one and roll it up and pop it in his mouth. His snoring will stop. Take the clean end of the other one, unravel a couple of little balls of the yard and pop them in your ears. Use a third -- clean -- sock as a night mask. No sounds, no lights, blessed sleep.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Snoring is awful. It's hard to fall asleep if someone next to me is snoring..
B xx

I've being having major issues with my p/c..hence my response is a bit late.

dkzody said...

That snoring can be life threatening. Need to get it checked out with a sleep specialist before a heart attack comes along. No kidding. TErry and I both went through sleep clinic. I just needed to adjust my breathing, Terry needed a machine. Makes all the difference in the way we both feel. Call your doctor. Today.

Mrs4444 said...

I'm not sure I could take that; Mr.4444 only snores occasionally. Actually, though, I'm a pretty great sleeper. Lately, Mr.4444 has taken sleep walking/talking, which provides for hilarious Facebook updates. Does Mr.F talk, too? Maybe you can make a website about it (someone else did, and it's pretty funny!! Can't remember what it's called, though, sorry.)

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