Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Snow Daze


Shoveling Out the Midgetmobile


The white stuff makes me sneeze.

At the ski resort, I’m the one dressed up in the colorful sweater, who’s really into the après ski. With a heavy emphasis on the après. I’m the first to cast a vote for hot cocoa with plenty of those teeny-tiny marshmallows. But I’m also going to be the one who doesn’t need the infusion of warmth because I haven’t been outside all day.

I fear I have a phobia.


When other children were out building snowmen, and pummeling each other with snowballs from behind ice-fortified front yard forts, I was usually inside with a book. Snow ice cream? Never interested. Frozen slushies made out of the stuff my Dad knocked off the bushes out back? Not a chance.

After all—what if the neighbor’s dog had been there before?

Oh, yes, I always did the Snow Dance of Joy with my sister and my friends when the school district cancelled our lessons because of inclement weather, but I just wasn’t too keen on the concept of playing tag in the drifts that surrounded my front porch.

I’ve always maintained that snow paints a pretty picture, as each flake falls from the sky. Mother Nature puts on some of her best shows in the dead of winter. I’m just not all that interested in coming into contact with those pretty particles of frozen precipitation.

I can trace my Snow Phobia to a couple of incidents from my wayward youth.

The afternoon I took the lead on a 3-person toboggan, and slid right into the back of a house, comes to mind. And the morning I was waiting at the bus stop—let’s see, I must’ve been all of 7 or 8—and my neighbors Jimmy and Mitch started pelting the crowd of grade-schoolers with ice-hard projectiles. I took one for the team that day, right in the left temple.

My slippery relationship with snow continued into adulthood. In my 20s, I had the great fortune to score a trip to a posh South American ski resort. There I suffered a severe case of altitude sickness on the way up a precipitous lift, and wretched all over my cute ski bunny outfit, my equipment, my lift partner…you get the picture. I continued to lose my cookies all the way down the mountain with the ski patrol, and the bus on the way back to town had to stop every 15 minutes or so, in order to let me Call Ralph.

And now, as a Mom with kids at college, I continue to suffer. My girls both go to school in the great State of Wisconsin. I dropped in for a visit about this time 2 years ago. The Badger State was, at that time, in the throes of the worst winter weather ever recorded. I think we saw snow six days out of the seven I was there.

I borrowed my daughter’s Honda Civic—we call it the “Midgetmobile”—one day. Of course, snow started coming down in great gobs while I was running errands. The plows were out in force, and had everything “scraped down to pavement,” as my Hubby likes to say, right away. Trouble was, the snow kept falling, and the drifts kept rising.

Let’s just say I had a lot of trouble parallel parking that snowy day. The wheels on the little car spun and spurted and then, finally, stuck. We weren’t going anywhere fast. Two nice men—by the size of ’em, from hearty dairy farmer stock—happened along and offered to dislodge the car. I asked if I could help them push.

“No problems,” the younger man said. Then he and his partner picked up the Midgetmobile and lifted it back onto the pavement.

Like I said, the white stuff makes me sneeze. I think I might be allergic.

23 comments:

Jeanie said...

I think this winter has begun to develop a snow allergy in a lot of us, but none as hard earned as yours sounds like it is. We have to be on the downhill ( opps, forgive the skiing reference) side of things now.

Muthering Heights said...

LOL, is that a snowman on the hood of the car?

Cecily R said...

I am in LOVE with the way you write. What a wonderful way with words you have!

I pretend to like the white stuff because we live in a wintery state and I feel like I'm supposed to like it, but I would MUCH rather hang out with a book than a snowman. My kids usually have other ideas. Sigh.

Susie said...

Yikes!! Isn't it spring yet?

June Freaking Cleaver said...

I love the silence that follows a big snowfall. I go outside and just listen...to nothing. The snow deadens all the sound. It's blissful.

And then some moron starts shoveling, or the plow truck shows up, and ruins it for me.

Life with Kaishon said...

Seriously. It seems like ours will NEVER ever EVER go away. I was looking at all the black snow today and trying to think of something good about it. I came up with nothing : )

miss jo said...

Ella's lips in the photo look blue from all the cold...I remember that hill and the bad-boy neighbors. I also recall you used to have a pretty good arm as a kid pelting snowballs.....I always hated snowsuits.

BLOGitse said...

I'm allergic to winter, cold, freeze and snow.
So, you're not alone! :)

BLOGitse

Jonna said...

If you don't like snow, definitely scratch off Finland as a wintertime future trip spot. :P

I've never liked snow. Playing in the snow isn't nearly as fun as being inside where it's WARM, playing video games. :D

Tortuga said...

See, I don't mind snow so much. I rather like it. This is probably because I grew up where there was no snow, and never had any until I reached adulthood. I enjoy watching my kids play in it, and I like watching it fall, but even I have begun to dread it this winter.

It's great for hot flashes though!

love lives in the kitchen said...

oh my! you still have sooo much snow over there? it's incredible! i don't have a snow allergy but if i were you i gues i could get it too ;)
have a sweet day,
justyna

Small Reflections said...

I love this post ... recycled or not! There are so many things about snow I've never considered being the So Cal native beach gal that I am. FUN post and wonderful image!
Hugs and blessings,

Quasi Serendipita said...

I love skiing - but hate snow at all other times! I like pictures of it though :)

Allyson said...

Well you definitely don't have a very good track record with it, I'll give you that. Perhaps you do better with palm trees and drinks with umbrellas? Or maybe with a descendant of hearty dairy farmer stock? (that, by the way, was literary genius). I know you all have had way more than your fair share this winter. Everyone in KY is getting testy about the cold and ancy for spring to get here. Everyone is driving aggressively and impatiently, like the cold has seeped into their bones and making them even more irritable. Please remind me of this comment in August when I'm complaining about how I'm sweating through my underwear.

Twincerely,Olga said...

great borrowed picture!!! I hear ya on the snow allergy

Tara R. said...

We have to get you some sunshine and warm weather... I hear that's a sure cure for snow allergies.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Snow is CRAP. I am ready for SPRING!

Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

I am not a fan of snow, we hardly ever get any. If we do I don't even bother driving. In my early twenties I would brave anything to get to work, now I think twice about leaving the house if its just raining, lol!

Night Owl Mama said...

YALK!!! I"m so glad I don't live near you. I hate shoveling and Aachew I think I'm allergic too lol

trish said...

Oh my goodness! I think you deserve your snow allergy! Barfing on a ski lift? That would make anyone weary of ever wanting to be around white stuff again. :)

Melissa aka Equidae said...

loved your post...i live in mediterranean malta :) not a snow flake in sight all year round and this year hardly a winter at all seems the weather got stuck in spring :)

cat said...

I love this piece of writing - great.But snow - a big unknown.

Teresha@Marlie and Me said...

I'm with you...I have a serious allergy to cold weather. I think the cure is a trip to Miami Beach!

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