Hi there! Melissa B., The Scholastic Scribe, here. You may remember me as the gal whose site shot up to the top of your Google Index within 2 weeks of commencing this bloggy adventure in March 2008. You also might recall that I'm the one who spends much of her classroom time urging her cherubs to credit those whose snaps they steal from Google Images.
Well, I'm writing today with another mission in mind. I'm looking for a job & I hear you're hiring.
Brian Williams, in fact, mentioned you on his Nightly News program just last week. The great prognosticator of the airwaves (although not near as cute nor savvy as his predcessor, Tom Brokaw) told his viewers that y'all may just have about 2,000 openings, which is a whole herd of a lot.
Brian (we're on a first-name basis) then enumerated many of the "perks" that go with a Google job. Along with the great bennies (gold-carat health & retirement, for starters), you've got soooooo many fun things going on! Sign me up~pronto!~for the on-site hair salon, the company shuttle, the fitness classes, the massage therapy. I could go on, but y'all know what makes your company special, don'tcha?
So, I Googled Google to find out for myself. Well, hold on there, pardners! I had no idea that y'all had offices in so many locales. And several right up my alley, too. Any of the Cali sites would do splendidly. Or what about my favorite city in the U S of A~Austin, Tejas? If I wished to get all cozy & such with Ella Numera Una, I could work out of your Madison, WI office. And of course, you've probably heard that New York is my kinda town.
But I wouldn't need to labor in a glam location. You've set up shop in DC, which is just down the road from moi, & in the Northern Virgina suburbs. Google, when it comes to my needs, "convenience" should be your middle name!
I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a middle-aged mamasita & pretty darn cute. I teach high school English & Journalism, and have a flair for the written word. I've visited every continent save for Antarctica (but I'd go there on assignment, if you wish), and I raise a lot of Hell in the kitchen.
Now I was looking online at some of your openings. Let's face it~"software engineer" is pretty much out. So is "finance." Anything with numbers gives me the heebie-jeebies. "Enterprise" sounds promising, though, as do "Marketing," "Communications" & "Media." But I don't think you should consider me for any "Human Resources" openings. I may be too blunt to look a poor schmoe in the eye & let him know that he'd best consider "maximizing" his "abilities" elsewhere.
What I really have in mind, though, is something a tad more "out there." I'm a long-time Blogger user. In fact, I've never considered switching to another blogging platform. I find your service to be easy, user-friendly, intuitive & all I need to get my message out to the blogosphere.
But surely you've noticed that there are those out there in cyberspace who cry "Fie!" on Blogger & all it stands for. And there's been quite a trend, recently, of Blogger users switching to other platforms. I've come to think of blogging as a little like high school. I love my Toyota, but she drives a newer model, so I want that one. You know the drill.
That's where I would come in. I propose a little telecommunting gig. Appoint me to be your Blogger Ambassador. I'm thinking something along the lines of a cyber-Pioneer Woman, sans Marlboro Man & the 4 cute kiddos. I could cook for Blogger, shoot awesome snaps for Blogger, run giveaways for Blogger, counsel troubled cyber-souls for Blogger and, of course, blog for Blogger. I promise to develop a huMONgous pro-Blogger network, right here at Blogger Central~my little ol' desk in the corner of my little ol' basement in the little ol' DC suburbs.
I've even come up with a few "alter-egos" for my enterprise. "Cutting Edge Chica" comes to mind, but that's just a play on The PO & her ilk. "Mrs. Scribe's Tool Box" is another. Mr. Fairway suggested putting your name right up front & came up with "Google Girl" or "Blogger Babe." Those monikers smack more than slightly of sexism, though, don't you think?
I prefer emphasizing the less-obvious, softer, gentler side of my personality. Yes, we can flak Blogger & its attributes 'til the cows come home, but the best way to win friends & influence people, I say, is thru their stomachs.
"Nana's Kitchen" has a nice ring to it. Hit 'em where they live & you'll have 'em as customers for life.
'Cause as my Nana used to say, "I believe in the power of prayer & in the power of positive thinking. But most of all, in the power of pie."
Whaddaya say? I've got the energy, the enthusiasm...and, I've got the mad skilz, too.
Here's Pie in Your Eye,
The Scholastic Scribe