Sx3: Have Your Gal Call My Gal

As long as The Scholastic Scribe is thinking Summer, we thought we'd hit ya with another shot of Ella Numera Una doing the swim team thing. As always, I'm not quite sure about the context of this snap, but there you have it.

You Silly Sunday Sweepstakes Veterans know what to do, right? For the rest of you, this game is a breeze. Just take a gander at this Superior Snap. Then, conjur a caption for said snap & tippy-type it real quick-like in the comments section of this post.

That's it, Scribe Fans! You won't win anything tangible for your efforts; just Mrs. Scribe's unending affection & congratulations for a Job Well Done!

So, what are you waiting for?

6-Word Saturday: Noodles and Company

Ella Numera Una has been a summer swim coach for eons. Not quite sure about this snap, except it was taken a couple of summers ago, and it involves a swim team skit. And a little lacy number, I see. I do know, however, that this bouquet of noodles evokes summer memories for moi.

Noodles plus chica equal summer fun.

Just thought I'd throw in my 6 cents' worth today. Seeing as it's 6-Word Saturday, and all. Cate from Show My Face made me do it, I swear!

Fx4: Beach Baby, x2

Thought you fans of The Scholastic Scribe's Spring Breakdown would enjoy this superior snap. Not a FLA shot, though...snapped somewhere down around Newport Beach, in SoCali. Beach Yoga looks artistic as well as relaxing, doesn't it? I wasn't there, but I'm guessing the sun was setting.

Playing along today with Candid Carrie's Friday Foto Finish Fiesta!

Dear Principal Man,

I'm writing to you as an alumnus of both Our Humble High School and the student newspaper staff. I graduated as one of the school's valedictorians and one of the paper's editors-in-chief in 2002, earned my bachelor's degree in 2006 from Northwestern University and now work as a reporter in New York. I'll admit to not having read the student newspaper since my younger brother, also a former editor-in-chief of the publication, graduated in 2007. But this morning I saw the editorial, "Save the sex for after school." I am not writing in outrage over the article's perceived pro-teen-sex slant, as I understand some parents have, but out of concern that the administration is considering censoring the newspaper in the future because of the editorial.

As someone who wrote perhaps more than her fair share of articles, columns and editorials that criticized the school and its policies, upset more than a few parents, were sometimes perhaps deliberately provocative and surely occasionally caused your predecessor to wonder why he had not taken an easier job - say, triage surgeon - I would like to make only one argument against censoring the student newspaper.It is not the importance of teaching students about the freedom of the press, not only for the self-important aggrandizing that goes with it, but also for the lesson that with that freedom comes the responsibility to use good judgment in choosing how and when to exercise that freedom and the understanding of what happens when journalists of any age choose to write something that will be unpopular regardless of whether they were justified in their decision.

It is not because censoring the paper might discourage students from pursuing a career that - though not dead by any stretch of the imagination - has surely seen better days.

And it is not because that editorial is incredibly tame compared to a wide range of content legally and easily accessible to students in other newspapers, magazines, books, movies, television and not least of all, the Internet.

It is because the only real effect censoring the student newspaper could have would be to discourage some of the school's most engaged students from caring about their fellow students, their school and themselves.

In the student journalists who wrote that editorial, you no doubt have the students who work through their lunch period in order to report and write articles on the accomplishments - and yes, sometimes also the hijinks - of their fellow students. To produce a student paper that has been repeatedly honored as among the best, if not the best in the state. I can't speak to the extent of the issue the editorial identifies at WS. If students really are taking to the cafeteria, the locker rooms, the woods or what have you to have sex during the school day, that is a problem that the school should certainly make every effort to deal with. Regardless of the politics involved in underage teenagers having sex, I certainly agree with the authors of that editorial that students should not be having sex on school grounds or when they're supposed to be in class.

But that is the point. The reporters who wrote that piece are on your side here. This was not a tongue-in-cheek piece giving the wink-wink-nod-nod to the problem, this was an expression of genuine disgust and disapproval. I can all but promise you that the authors of this editorial are not the students searching out the latest sex spot on campus. Censoring the paper won't solve the problem of students having sex on school grounds, and it certainly won't guarantee you'll never again have to deal with the headache of angry parents. But it will guarantee that the school will discourage some of its most engaged students, when the school's job is to push students to learn and to care.

I hope that I have not taken up too much of your time and that you will consider and find useful both my thoughts and the words of some of my fellow alumni that you have surely already received and will continue to receive. Of course, ultimately the school is responsible neither to angry parents nor to angry alumni, but to the students who now pass through its halls and who will enter its classrooms this fall and the one after that. In considering this matter, I urge you to act in their best interest.

Respectfully,

Editor Girl

A note from Mrs. Scribe: Principal Man has received dozens of like-minded e-mails from alums, concerned parents, parents of alums and even Ella Numera Una & Ella Numera Dos in recent days. Although yesterday's meeting with Your Humble Scribe lasted 2 hours, & acrimony prevailed, he has decided not to censor the student paper.

Stay Tuned, Scribe Fans!

This whole Principal Man janx has Your Humble Scribe in a dither. We are meeting at 7:30...in just one hour! Won't be able to compose anything that makes a bit of sense until I surface from that scintillating convo, & then I've gotta teach all day.

So, Scribe Fans, we're Off the Air today. Catch you on the rebound with all the scoop tomorrow, OK?

He's Peeing with the Big Dogs Now

Ever given any thought to the expression, "pissed off"? Mrs. Scribe doesn't often use the term, preferring a much more lady-like "perturbed & outraged." Get it? PO'd??

Recent circumstances, however, have left me in a pissy mood for more than a week. But I'm fixin' to get me some much-needed relief.

Principal Man & Your Humble Scribe will meet tomorrow at Oh Dark 30 (well, 7:30 a.m.) to discuss a little matter of sex on the sacred grounds of Our Humble High School. PM & his minions claim to have in their possession dozens of not-so-nice e-mails from parents and faculty, dumping all over Mrs. Scribe & her journalistas.

Well, all I gotta say to that is, "Thank God for Facebook." And you know how I feel about Facebook.

A little birdy posted the offending article online. Summoned OHHS grads going back 15 years to e-mail Principal Man & express their support for the journalistas & their put-upon adviser. That would be moi.

Last I heard, the man was deluged with e-mail. And he's been responding to each one. In a contrite, "Sorry, I really support the First Amendment, I really do," kinda way. The organizer of this janx hopes the e-mail flood wrecked the man's entire long weekend. And so do I.

Revenge is sweet, ain't it?

Today, We Honor Their Service

Part of "The Wall"-The National Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C.

The Wall
By Catherine Anne McNeill

I walked along that long black wall, with names as far as I could see.

Friends I knew in childhood now etched in memories.

I've touched their names so many times, remembered them with love.

I walk along, the rain pours down, tears from heaven above.

I watch a Vet, deep in thought, pain across his face.

He walks a mother to the wall; he's taken his friend's place.

She reaches out to touch a name, the one that was her son.

They pause together in the rain, their memories a bond.

The men who fought, the men who died, their names for all to see

Their lives so brief, fallen short, a page in history.

We can't forget what they had done, so many years ago.

Sacrifices they have made, the bravery they showed.

I walked along that long black wall, crying in the rain.

For all those men who've touched our lives, we'll never see again.

28 May 2000

©Catherine Anne McNeill

Silly Sunday Sweepstakes: Flower Power?

When Mrs. Scribe receives snaps such as this from one of her chicas, she has a strict "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. All I know is that this young man is a friend of Ella Numera Una. The why & the wherefore are beyond moi.

You know what to do, Scribe Fans! Take a gander at this Superior Snap. Then Conjure a Caption. Tippy type said caption in the comments section of this post. And there you have it...easy as pie! And yes, some day I will find out what that idiom is supposed to mean. Never met a pie that was easy, simple, or any other way but difficult to bake.

You won't receive anything tangible this time around, folks. Just Mrs. Scribe's undying love & affection. And that's what makes the world go 'round, correctamundo?

6-Word Saturday: Yes, The Scream!

Between SOL Week and other racy happenings, no rest for the weary, Scribe Fans! But it's now Saturday, and the glorious start of a glorious 3-Day Weekend. Yipppeeee! Let me share my frustrations with my 6 words for this fine Saturday, brought to you by Cate, at Show My Face:

Turned out to be a jerk.

Principal Man has summoned Mrs. Scribe to a Big Pow-Wow. About the sex thing. Incredible. Pray for me.

High-Stakes Testing & the Pee-Pee Dance

OK. You've read about the 3rd-grade teacher with the student named Lucifer. You've raised an eyebrow or 2 over the high school sexcapades. You've shaken your head in disbelief over Wrestling 101. You've heaved an enormous sigh when confronted with the tale of Madam Librarian & her Big Gulp Sippy Cup.

Now it is my distinct privilege & great pleasure to round out the week with a cautionary tale. It involves high-stakes testing & what my daughters call the Pee-Pee Dance.

Our Humble High School has been all caught up this week in that yearly thrown-down called the SOLs. Stands for Standards of Learning. High-stakes tests that make everyone pee their pants.

Literally. Or, almost.

Mrs. Scribe was doing her duty yesterday morning, proctoring a math test, of all things. There's not much to this janx. Arrive a school at the crack of dawn. Pick up testing materials from the SOL Czar before school starts. Administer said online test to 20+ sleepy 9th- & 10th-graders.

Lots of paranoia surrounding these examinations, if one could call them that. Students must pass 6 SOLs in order to graduate. Not to worry, though. The state has dumbed these suckers down since instituting the SOL graduation requirement in 2001. Even my daughter's half-dead Beta Fish, floating lazily in his cloudy glass bowl, could master the material needed to pass, at this point.

Sorry. Straying from what I'd meant to say, yet again.

So, there are lots & lots of rules that surround the actual taking of the test. No talking. No chewing gum. No use of any hand-held electronic devices. Backpacks parked at the front of the room. No food or drink. Mouths shut. Cellphones off & collected by the proctors.

Oh. And no Potty Breaks until the test is over. For either the kids or the adults.

Things went smoothly during this 2-hour exercise in tedium. But as the clock ticked away, Mrs. Scribe's bladder started to beat time. One thing we didn't check off our list.

Don't forget to make a pit stop. And don't do the Pee-Pee Dance in front of the cherubs. You might scar them for life.

This warning brought to you by Candid Carrie & her Friday Foto Finish Fiesta.

Would You Like Whiskey in That Sippy Cup?

OK. I really didn't think I'd be able to find an image such as the one above. Even on the Internet. Even though my story is 100%, certifiably true. The little gem above, BTW, is from a gentlemen named Curtis Rogers. Expresses my sentiments to a "T."

Suppose you could name this recent series of posts, "Public Education Gone Wild." First we had sex in school. Next, Arm Wrestling 101. Both of those incidents happened within 10 days of one another, which can be pretty stressful for a public school & its daily inhabitants. And now, I present, for your reading pleasure...

...the Drunk Librarian.

No joke. Madam Librarian had been employed at Our Humble High School for 10 years or so. She had a well-earned reputation as an efficient, helpful, knowledgable, competent high school bibliognost. Until, that is, about 3 years ago.

The good Madam began slurring her speech. She paid scant attention to her professional attire. She gained a precipitous amount of weight, and took to carrying one of those 7-11 Big Gulp plastic cups around. Those would be the containers that hold 32 refreshing ounces (1 liter) of one's favorite beverage.

Coke, 7-Up, Sprite, anyone? Perhaps a Dr. Pepper? No, rumor had it that Madam Librarian was hauling around her own personal go-cup of Jim Beam. No rocks.

Yup. The undiluted hard stuff. The crafty cataloger knew no shame.

People talked. Among themselves & to her. We thought, somehow, we could help. But no one turned Madam Librarian into authorities. She was too nice. Too helpful. Too good a cook-she baked the faculty muffins on Fridays and always pitched in at department pot-lucks.

When we saunter down OHHS' Library Hallway, we can see most of what's going on thru the plate glass windows. And all sad stories, of course, must come to an end. One day Mrs. Scribe saw Madam Librarian dutifully shelving books.

And the next day, she was gone.

Turns out a 9th-grade Social Studies teacher had taken her cherubs to the library to investigate sources for a paper. She'd asked Madam Librarian to speak to the class about research. About books, periodicals, online sites.

Madam Librarian started her presentation with a sip from her Big Gulp. Then another. Then a third. What transpired right after that is still open to interpretation & is the stuff that Urban Legends are made of.

Let's put it this way. Someone finally summoned the proper authorities. Principal Man arrived to drive Madam Librarian home.

We haven't seen her since.

Child Abuse for Extra Credit

We have all kinds of juicy tidbits for you this week, Scribe Fans! If it isn't sex in school, it's child abuse. For extra credit.

OK, before you go all ballistic on me & call Family Services, I guess I need to put this in context. This tale involves a young, immature teacher & teenagers-sometimes a dangerous combo.

Take Mr. X, for example. He's 24. Yes, you mathematical geniuses, that would be only 6 years older than some of his students. He hasn't quite left college-in his mind, anyway. He's stuck between beer pong & research papers.

X hasn't yet learned how to walk that fine line between being a kid's BFF & being his teacher. He often errs on the side of friendliness, bordering on goofiness, bordering on sophomoric sycophant.

Exhibit A, for your analytical pleasure: Mr. X arm wrestles with his students.

Yes, you read that correctly. Mr. X locks hands with his kids and sees who can get the best of whom. In the classroom. For extra credit.

I'd heard about this odd instructional technique about a year ago, when Mr. X was fairly new to Our Humble High School. I shrugged off the murmuring as teenage hyperbole. Nobody arm-wrestles his students for extra credit. Not even a sophomoric sycophant.

Last week, I was proven wrong. A boy wanted a few more points for a recent classroom activity. Mr. X gamely sat down, challenging the lad to a little grappling. The competition commenced. Mr. X looked to be winning. Then there was a thunk, a grimace & a thud, as Mr. X triumphantly pushed his opponent's arm to the desk.

And he broke it. Seriously. Dislocated the boy's shoulder & broke the kid's humerus. That would be the bone that runs from his shoulder to his elbow.

Did I tell you that Mr. X was one of the teachers complaining about my cherubs' recent foray into the naughty & the unknown? The nerve. The temerity. I'd say someone needs to wrassle his sycophantic arse right out of the building.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

Mrs. Scribe thinks she's in Hot H20 again! We've been having a "sexual revolution," of sorts, at Our Humble High School. Seems that students are engaging in the nasty during business hours.

The student newspaper chose to write about this increase in sexual traffic in our halls, on our field, under our bleachers (in both the gym and the football stadium) and-yes, Scribe Fans-even in our cafeteria. During lunch. Seems the young man was enjoying his cheeseburger, while the young woman was enjoying...

Oh, never mind. You get the picture.

At any rate, my journalistas editorialized against such wanton practices in our sacred school building. Two seniors got the assignment, and today's editorial started out in this fashion:

"Sex is like math: You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply. Although this equation seems accurate, it's not appropriate for the math hallway."

OK, a tad risqué. But true, nonetheless.

Just have to say that the prudes in the building are pouring out of the woodwork, faster than termites at a plywood convention! Your Humble Scribe has had one conference with an administrator & several e-mails. To mix metaphors here, doesn't look like the deluge will stop any time soon.

This convo is a good thing, though. Principal Man took our side in the debate. First Amendment & all that jazz. Also proves those old crones know how to read, right?

Show and Tell: Learn Me Good

Meet Mr. Teacher. He teaches 3rd grade, somewhere in East Dallas. That's Big D. In Texas. He's got students named Pilar, Marvin and...

...Lucifer. Well, that's only when her head is spinning & vitriol is spewing from all angles.

Engineer John Pearson (aka Mr. T) graduated from Duke & invested almost 4 years in his chosen career. But then the economy started to go down the drain and John met that nasty little invitation called the Pink Slip.

But he had a backup plan. And it involved teaching math to 3rd-graders in Inner City Dallas.

Mr. Teacher chronicles the ups, the downs, the bathroom breaks, the field trips, and, yes, the dreaded TAKS tests in his fun and even funnier, Learn Me Good.

(As an aside, TAKS stands for Texas Assessment of Knowledge & Skills. This native Dallasite-yes, Mrs Scribe herself is a product of the Dallas Independent School District-thinks the test's name is slightly oxymoronic, but what do I know?)

I know that if I had a 3rd-grader registered in the DISD, I'd send her to Mr. Teacher's class. His hilarious account of his first year in the classroom will tug at your heartstrings, make you scratch your head more than once, and even send you into peals of gut-wrenching laughter late at nite, when you're reading in bed & the Hubz is trying to catch some shut-eye.

Contained in these often humorous, sometimes serious, light and easy 209 pages are the anecdotes all teachers come to know: The child who blurts out all the wrong answers, thinking that the louder he is, the more correct he will be; the child who knows a little too much a little too early about the Birds & the Bees (although in Mr. Teacher's case, that child is an 8-year-old, and she performs a provocative pole dance at the end of the line one day); the child who will never learn her multiplication tables, but keeps trying, anyway.

But Mr. Teacher's Cherubs are also those who started life a little behind & are forever playing catch-up. Many of them move thru a single school year like those candies on Lucy Ricardo's assembly line, and if Mr. Teacher doesn't catch them quick, they'll fall off the belt.

He writes about kids who enroll in October, only to leave the school in November; students whose parents have no phones (Mr. Teacher & his co-teacher make "house calls" at the apartments of those kids, meeting with the parents face-to-face); one girl whose uncle reeks so badly of smoke (turns out to be reefer) that he has a difficult time standing, much less speaking.

I really enjoyed Learn Me Good's format, as well. Each vignette is written as an e-mail to a former engineering co-worker. Each of Mr. Teacher's "posts" smacks slightly of sarcasm & often of silliness. At the same time he imparts an important message: Clichés aside, a hard-working teacher who cares about his students can make a difference.

I won a copy of this fast & entertaining read in a giveaway over at Mr. T's Place. But Mr. Teacher's first-year memoir is also available at Amazon.com. And you don't have to be a teacher to love this book. Humor is a universal language, don't you think?

Sx3: Christmas Family Vacation

Hearken back with us, Scribe Fans, to Ella Numera Dos & a Christmas Family Vacation of a couple years back. This is the child who loves the beach, but hates dipping her little piggies in the ocean, for fear of little wriggly fish.

OK, sources smarter than I tell me that dolphins are mammals; nevertheless, the child still had to get in the ocean & touch this cute little guy (gal?) AND then KISSED the critter, to boot!

You veterans know what to do. For the rest of ya, take a gander at this Superior Snap. Then, conjure a funny caption for said snap & tippy-type it real quick-like in the comments section of this post.

You'll win nothing tangible for your efforts, of course, but the unending love & admiration of Mrs. Scribe. It's sooooooooo worth it, right?

And speaking of Christmas Family Vacation, no cats, Christmas Trees, next-door neighbors or elderly aunts were harmed in the creation of this snap.

6-Word Saturday: Cats Are Evil

Or at least this one is. Meet Pepper. You've seen her around before, right? She's tried to hatch a computer, played with lots of yarn and spent the Christmas Season as the Bow Kitty. Well, there's something else you oughta know.

Things are not as they seem!

Playing along with Cate from Show My Face and Yes, Scribe Fans, my 6 words are sad, but oh, so true. Let me explain.

Pepper is an Indoor Cat. As such, she spends most of her time, as should be expected, indoors. Except when she's outdoors. When she escapes, or "flees the asylum," as I like to say, she doesn't head to the freedom of the Great Outdoors. No, sadly, she decidedly does not.

She heads straight to the teeny-tiny crawl space under the screened porch. Where nobody can go but she.

And then she won't come out.

We spend about 4 hours 2 Sundays ago, trying to get the durn kitty back inside. Spent another 6 or so on Mother's Day, trying to corral her again.

Many of you would say, "Oh, let her get a taste of freedom. She's a cat. She'll know when to come in." Yet this is not always the case. Pepper has been known to remain on the lam for huge stretches of time. And I fear the dark in my neighborhood.

We have all manner of wild critters roaming near our crib on the outskirts of Suburbia. No, not Lions, Tigers & Bears, but rather Racoons, Foxes & Coyotes, oh my! And a fat little thing like Pepper would be just their cup of tea. Or Kitty Kibble, as it were.

So don't let this Cute Cat fool ya. She's really the devil...in disguise.

Fx4: Bahama Mamas?

Not one to kick a dead horse or anything, but Mrs. Scribe celebrated her birthday a couple of days ago. As part of the throw-down, Lil Sis sent this Superior Snap along in an e-card.

Our parents had just returned from the Bahamas. Apparently, they brought us these lovely hats.

Trying to be Très Chic for Candid Carrie today. She's having her Friday Foto Finish Fiesta, you know. And these Bahama Mamas are ready to boogie!

Once a Goalie Mom, Always a Goalie Mom

Ella Numera Dos played field hockey for 7 seasons, all of them in goal.

That's why her First Fan, Mrs. Scribe, has had a nerve-wracking past few weeks watching our local Washington Capitals battle it out in the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs.

OK, ice hockey is decidedly NOT field hockey. But a goalie is a goalie, whether you're on turf, grass or ice. And I've had a revival of those Goalie Mom Butterflies since the playoffs began.

My traditionally cast-iron stomach did flip-flops in 7 too-close games against New York. Then repeated the performance thru 7 similar encounters with Pittsburgh.

The Pittsburgh Penguins just blew us off the ice last nite, 6-2. It wasn't even close, as they say. But here's to a young team, with an even younger goalie. Russian Simeon Varlamov barely speaks a word of English, & just turned 21 a couple of weeks ago.

He just looked so sad at the end of the game. As if he wished he could give all those goals back.

Been there, done that, although never at a level that even approached the Stanley Cup. But here's to all the Goalie Moms out there, whose tummies make a sudden lurch when the other team gets too close. Oh, & the photo is one by Ella Numera Dos, taken as part of a portfolio shoot last year.

And someone please tell me: What does a Penguin have to do with ice hockey?

Happy Birthday to Beatrice Arthur, Stevie Wonder & Moi

Oh, and don't forget Dennis Rodman & my BIL. They were born on May 13th, too.

"There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know."
...Lewis Carroll

"Getting old ain't for sissies."
...Betty Davis

"May you live all the days of your life."
...Jonathan Swift

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
...Lucille Ball

"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."
...Maurice Chevalier

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."
...Oprah Winfrey

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
...Mark Twain

"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
...Erma Bombeck

Twitter 101

Twitter might become a weekly topic at The Scholastic Scribe. Ah, the irony...writing more words about Twitter than a single Tweet can hold!

The latest on the Little Blue Bird is that it's becoming an educational tool. Yup, you've got that right, Scribe Fans. Twitter...right up there with The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. As Our Humble High School's Computer Guru wrote in a staffwide e-mail the other day, "Social networking is alive and well. Whether we like it or not, it is fast becoming part of the educational process."

She even posted the link for a Twitter Cheat Sheet. Encouraging teachers to cheat...the very idea!

I can see using Twitter at the college level, as the Chronicle of Higher Education reports in its article "The Wired Campus," for social...& intellectual...interaction. I might even give it a whirl in AP English Lang. But I can see lots & lots of downsides if a professora were to involve Our Humble High School's Unwashed Masses in this type of social interaction.

And right now, Mrs. Scribe is still trying to sort out Friend from Follower. Tweet from Twit. Tweeps from Peeps. Oh, but I did learn a couple of Twitter No-No's today:

• Never Tweet about food or the weather. Boring, even for Twitter. And NEVER tweet about bathroom habits. Hmmmmmmmm...pretty sure this is a "Duh, Now Moment," but folks will "unfollow" you for the latter.
• Don't Tweet more than 10 times a day, or 5 times an hour. Apparently there is such a thing as overload...even on Twitter.

In the meantime, Tom Barrett has put together a pretty neat slideshow that explains 22 Interesting Ways to Use Twitter in the Classroom.

Mrs. Scribe might just give it a whirl. Might be a tad more educational than watching "The Office" on Hulu, huh? In the meantime, you can reach me on Twitter. I'm MrsScribe.

The Big, Bad Wolf Dances the Driver's Ed Tango

I was at a red light the other day. Our state allows right turn on red after a full stop.

The guy in front was taking his sweet time. Oops! My bad. "Student Driver" sign. I waited patiently. He didn't move. Not one inch.

I huffed; I puffed, then slowly started to count. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi.

Several "Mississippi's" later, he started. Then he stopped. Then he started again. Dancing the Driver's Ed Tango, or something.

Then he threw on the brakes. Hard.

I tapped my horn lightly. Wanted the kid to know I was back there. He turned full around in his seat, and stared with eyes more than wide open...the better to see me with, my dears. Seriously...the rookie looked so frightened, you woulda thought I was the Big, Bad Wolf.

The light turned green. I honked again, this time with a tad more insistence in my horn. We went thru the same dance as before. Little Red Riding Hood didn't budge & the light turned red again.

The woman in the lane next to me rolled down her window, and said...and I quote:

"Show a little patience. Can't you see that's a student driver?"

Yes, in fact I had noticed. But it wasn't like I was about to blow the kid's house down.

Editor's Note: Yet another contribution to May's entries in the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 218 Words.

Sx3: Mother's Day Edition

Thought we'd take a trip down Memory Lane today, Scribe Fans, & honor our Moms with a "different" sort of Silly Sunday Sweepstakes.

Meet GG. Stands for Grey Girl. She was a Mama Cat, rescued with her kittens & taken to the local shelter several years ago. She'd never lived in a human's house. Her babies all found homes, & when we found her, she was wild with anxiety, pacing her cage & wondering what life was all about.

The good news is that for The Scribe Family, it was love at first sight. But the first nite GG spent at our humble abode was a rough one. We kept her out on the screen porch because she was so panicked, & she climbed the walls...literally. The next morning, I found her halfway up one side of the porch, trying to figure out a way to chew thru the screen & escape.

As the years went by, though, this Wild Mama settled down. As you can see from this Superior Snap, GG still was a little more, shall we say, "alert," than Ella Numera Una, but she did learn to relax, in her own special way.

OK, enough with the Fond Recollections, already! You veterans know just what to do. Take a gander at this Superior Snap. Conjur a Creative Caption & tippy-type that sucker real quick-like in the Comments section of this post.

That's it, folks! You won't win anything tangible on this fine Mother's Day, except Mrs. Scribe's admiration & loyalty from here on out. But that's a pretty nifty gift when you come to think about it, right?

Here's to all the Mama Cats in the world. Hope y'all have a really special day!

6-Word Saturday: Watergate, It's Not!

As y'all know, the Scribes reside in the DC Metropolitan Area. That's lot of ground to cover, but the whole region has one central theme: Politics. All day. Every day.

Many of us DC-ites, including, on occasion, Mrs. Scribe & Mr. Fairway, find it fun to watch several hours of C-Span...straight. When I delivered Ella Numera Dos, Saddam and his Iraqi troops were invading little ol' Kuwait. For those of you too young to remember or too old to care, that invasion sparked the First Gulf War.

And I watched the whole thing on C-Span. While in labor.

When I was fixin' to deliver Ella Numera Una, I tuned in to C-Span then, too. Bob Dole, the venerable Senator from Kansas (at the time) was in a heated dispute with Teddy Kennedy, the venerable Senator from Massachusetts (still). Nothing like a policy debate on the floor of the United States Senate to get those contractions to come closer together!

I'm long in getting to my point here, but that's why the above Peanuts strip is so relevant. To me. To my family. To my city.

Ella Una has a funny family nickname. Following in the footsteps of her father, she gets wound up. If things aren't going just right, her knickers become all knotted in a twist. She has been known...at all stages of her young life...to dash around the house in a dither, in an effort to get all her ducks in a row.

We call her Sam Dash. Named after the Venerable Watergate Prosecutor. And, yes, we noted his passing, when he left this gentle Earth in 2004.

Only in DC...only in DC.

Those are my 6 words for today. Brought to you by Cate, at Show My Face. And dedicated to Policy Wonks everywhere. At least in the Capital of the Free World.

Fx4: Eastern Market, Before & After

Today's the last day of the My Life in Pictures Challenge. It's also time for Candid Carrie's Friday Foto Finish Fiesta.

I'm showcasing 2 Superior Snaps today. No, they aren't mine, but they illustrate exactly how I feel about Eastern Market, DC's only continuously operated fresh food public market. Proudly serving Capitol Hill residents & visitors since 1873. Thanks to Heather Champ for providing the photos.

We lived in the Capitol Hill Historic District for 12 years, in a drafty row house built in 1837. Or at least the front part of the house was. The kitchen, which had been a stand-alone structure, was connected around 1900.

I loved that cramped but oh-so-comfy house, with the postage-stamp backyard & the city street lite that shined in our bedroom window every nite. I loved our weekend routine in that neighborhood, too. Every Saturday, we'd sleep in, eat breakfast, & mosey on down to Eastern Market to recycle, and pick up fresh veggies & fragrant flowers, along with a few trinkets every so often, provided by the flea market merchants on the sidewalk outside.

That weekly routine ended when we moved to the proverbial 'Burbs, but the Market has never been far from us, physically & emotionally. We still journey down there several times a year to take in the flea market & a burger at the nearby Tune Inn. The only thing that has changed is we can't shop inside the Market any more.

The structure burned in a spectacular blaze exactly 2 years ago on April 30th. Since then, merchants have been housed in a temporary building across the street, while vendors & flea marketeers still use the outside space on the sidewalks & the nearby junior high blacktop to sell their wares. Meanwhile, reconstruction & rehabilitation have been underway on the 136-year-old structure, with no due date set yet for completion.

City officials classified the fire's origins as "undetermined," which just makes me sad. That means the fire could have been an accident...likely electrical...or it could have been arson.

Fie on anyone who'd want to destroy a piece of my family's history...and my heart.



Editor's Note: One more of Mrs. Scribe's contributions to May's entries in the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 297 words.

Alternative Lesson Plan: Hulu.com

OK, I confess. As the school year nears its end, and the high-stakes standardized tests increase, Mrs. Scribe starts to shut her engines down.

We've gone full speed ahead since the day after Labor Day. The seniors started to check out (mentally, at any rate) some time back in December. But Our Humble School District mandates that the Cherubs stay in school 183 days a year. The Class of 2009 will not graduate until mid-June. My last day is June 18.

No, I'm not a slacker & I'm really not complaining. Just tired, is all. And yesterday proved to be a perfect time for a respite.

The 9th-graders went to a special assembly yesterday. Turns out their speaker ran over into the next class period. Since my Intro to Journalism class is mostly freshmen, I had 9 kids in 4th period.

I'd planned to start teaching yearbook layout. It's a big unit, which took lots of planning. Sorry, but I wasn't about to waste it on 9 kids, even if they are my Cherubs.

Someone suggested a movie. Then another kid mentioned Hulu.com. Have you heard of this site? It's a "free online video service" (their words, not mine) that features TV shows, commercials and movies. And it's one of the few sites that hasn't yet been blocked at Our Humble High School by Principal Man & his Evil Techno Henchmen.

Several of the boys were pushing to watch "The Office." And so we did. We hooked my laptop up to the LCD projector, dimmed the lites & watched 2 recent episodes: "Casual Friday" and "Stress Relief." Lots of laughter; a good time was had by all.

My Cherubs left the room at the end of class with smiles on their faces. And I think they learned something today. Helping Hands come in all kinds of permutations. And school doesn't have to be all about making the grade.

Editor's Note: Yet another in the Hit Parade known as the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 318 words.

Where You Lead, I Will Follow...Perhaps

My entry, today, is supposed to have something to do with Going Green. OK, the logo above is decidedly NOT green. But stick with me on this. It'll all come out OK in the end. I promise!

As some of you know, Mrs. Scribe is on Twitter now. She "tweets," as it were. Whatever that means.

I "follow" 117 people. I have 141 "followers."

I have no idea what it all entails. I have no idea what I'm doing.

A student of mine raves that "Twitter is so cute, and so fun!" I'm told by friends that "Twitter's the next Facebook." But my longtime readers know what I think about Facebook & that ilk, right?

A former student requested that I "follow" her the other day. I complied. I receive up to 20 e-mails a day requesting that I follow complete strangers. I don't know where they're leading me, but like a lamb to the slaughter, I'm off down the Twittering path. I dutifully "tweet" daily, and scroll thru the 140-word missives of my "followers." Or those I'm "following." Or, whatever.

Thing is, I'm usually not known as a follower. I'm a leader. Except, apparently, where Twitter is concerned.

I'm tight with a few famous folks, who Tweet quite a bit. alplusk (Ashton Kutcher) is apparently a friend of mine. So's iamdiddy (Sean Combs, aka P Diddy, or whatevs). The newly rehabilitated Britney Spears. TheEllenShow is on my list, too. Never know when the Old Gal will need a dance partner, oui?

What's it all about? You probably shouldn't ask me. But I'm GREEN with envy at those of you who "get" this. Is anybody listening?

Editor's Note: The first of Mrs. Scribe's May contributions to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 276 Words.

¡ Feliz Cinco de Mayo! A Few of My Favorite Things...

Today, as part of the My Life in Pictures Challenge, I'm supposed to show you something that I *heart*. Hmmmmmmm...where to begin? Perhaps with the winner of my Silly Sunday Sweepstakes?

Bilbo's Random Thought Collection!

Please don't tell Mr. Fairway, but Bilbo has quite the sense of humor! That's why he wins a a copy of the Los Barrios Family Cookbook: Tex-Mex Recipes from the Heart of San Antonio. This excellent cookbook features the best that La Hacienda de Los Barrios, that superior San Antonio Tex-Mex establishment, has to offer.

Are you ready for Bilbo's winning caption? Well, he actually wrote 2, so take your pick:

1. Taking the "somber" out of "sombrero" since, oh, about 1990.

-or-

2. Do you know how many servings of refried beans it took to get these pained smiles?

Bilbo, Dearest, please send your contact info to scholastic_scribe@hotmail.com, and I'll send you your cookbook. Hope you and the Señora cook up something beyond a pot of frijoles refritos!

And of course, y'all, I love, love, LOVE my new Bloggy Friend, Michelle...she of Scribbit Fame. Please check out her new ebook, Blogging in Pink, and her May Write Away Contest. The theme is Spring, & I entered one of my April Posts.

OK, on to something I really REALLY <3. Only three folks come to mind at the top of that category & here they are. And I even shot this Superior Snap:

There you go, Scribe Fans...from the Land of Long Ago & Far Away, I bring you Ella Numera Una, Mr. Fairway & Ella Numera Dos. I *heart* My Peeps. A lot. And ¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Kodachrome

BTW: Mrs. Scribe's Silly Sunday Sweepstakes (Sx3) will remain open for entries until tonite at 11:59. To leave a caption on yesterday's post, click on this notice. You could win a prize, so get crackin'!

BeeHappy over at My Edition of Gab is hosting a My Life in Pictures Challenge. "The point of this challenge is for you to be creative," BH says, "and for you to get out there and take more photos with your camera."

Your Humble Scribe was trained as a journalista, of course, but more in the print vein. But being in the Blog Biz & all, I've started to uncover my "Superior Snap Side," as it were. Thought BH's Challenge would do me some good.

These are the topics for the week:

• Monday (Hey, that's today!): A place where you feel most at peace: in my case, the snap above is from my garden bird bath. I'm a gardener, as some of you know & love getting out and mucking around. The birds, apparently, love mucking around out here, too, as you can see from the residue under the reflection.
• Tuesday: Something you *heart*
• Wednesday: Go Green: your favorite green item
• Thursday: Helping hands
• Friday: A place in your city that you love and would like to show people who have never been there

Please journey over to BH's place to enroll in this dang deal. Just sign her Mr. Linky thing and start snapping. Sounds like an adventure in film (OK, digital, for some of us!) to moi. And I plan to take full advantage!

Sx3: ¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

OK, Scribe Fans! Our Silly Sunday Sweepstakes is going "live" today! And just what does that mean? It means I'm offering a real, live, honest-to-goodness prize for the best caption...in honor of Cinco de Mayo, which we're gonna celebrate on Tuesday.

A bit of background, first. We received this silly shot from friends in a Christmas card. They have 6 kids...3 girls & 3 boys...and while on a vacation South of the Border, they decided to Share the Sombrero Love. That's about all I know about that, except that we've featured this pic on our fridge for the last 5 months. We always get at least one funny comment when someone takes a gander.

And that's just what you need to do, y'all. Take a gander at this Superior Snap. Then Conjure a Caption. Then, tippy-type Said Caption in the Comments Section of this post. That's it. Nothing else is necessary. Nada. Nunca. Nil.

The funniest caption, as judged by Mr. Fairway, wins a copy of Los Barrios Family Cookbook: Tex-Mex Recipes from the Heart of San Antonio. This excellent cookbook features the best that La Hacienda de Los Barrios, that superior San Antonio Tex-Mex establishment, has to offer.

Mrs. Scribe's Silly Sunday Sweepstakes will remain open until 11:59 p.m. tomorrow, so y'all can get your captions posted. And I'll announce the winner in my post on Tuesday, May 5. That's Cinco de Mayo. And what could be sweeter than that?

¡Buena Suerte!

6-Word Saturday: I Love Bling!

Bloggy Bling Makes My Heart Sing!

My friend Pseudononymous High School Teacher, passed this Little Pretty along to me, so I thought I'd feature it as my 6-Word Saturday contribution this week. SWS, as y'all probably know, is hosted by Cate, over at Show My Face.

Pseudo just finished reading the Twilight Series, & says this award puts her in mind of that. Of course, if Mrs. Scribe had read the Twilight Series, then she'd understand. Something about "so pretty"? So I guess the joke's on me, huh, MammaDawg (she's the Twilight expert around these here parts)?

First I'd like to thank Pseudo, for being so thoughtful. Next, I'd like to pass this Bit o' Bling along to some of my newer Bloggy Buds.

Here are the rules: 1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. 2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

In Your Humble Scribe's opinion, these Lovely Blogs are deserving, all:

Shawn, who is a Swanee Singer.

Cori Lynn Berg, who dabbles as a Sacred Artist.

Michelle, who scribbles away in Alaska on Scribbit.

Lisa, who reminds us that, Yeah, I'm Still Here.

Mannequin, who mends a Fractured Toy.

Kate Lord Brown, who keeps us up-to-date on What Kate Did Next.

Soulbrush, who paints with a Soulbrush.

Tori Z., who lives in Torizworld.

Ribbon, who shares fragments treasures memories.

TMC, who urges a Return to Rural.

Sugar Mommy, who is, well, a Sugar Mommy.

Jack, who is Slightly Off-Center.

Karen, who celebrates Food, Glorious Food...and life in general.

Judy Haley, who has CoffeeJitters.

Donnetta, who lives Life in the Fast Lane.

And please, Dear Hearts, remember to tune in tomorrow for my Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. I'm offering a Real Live Prize, in honor of Cinco de Mayo!

Fx4: Babe Ruth? Mickey Mantle? Albert Pujols?

Well, you'd be correctamundo on Albert Pujols, but he played for the other team yesterday! Mrs. Scribe decided to go out on a "School Nite," & she's certainly suffering this morning.

We left in the top of the 9th. The St. Louis Cardinals had just scored their 5th run in that inning alone. Last I heard, the score was 9-4 & our team (obviously not the Cardinals!) was stinking up the place. Couldn't bear to check the box scores this a.m.

I feel like one of my students who's pulled an all-niter. And all this ol' English Teacher can say without cussing a blue streak is that The Washington Nationals are not worthy of my approbation!

Candid Carrie's got Fx4 goin' on today, & I'll bet her Milwaukee Brewers are worth going to see!