1st Blogoversary: Let's Get The Party Started!

They warned me that beer and hoes would be the death of me!

*woot*! Happy First Blogoversary to Moi! Let's get it started in here by announcing the winner of the Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. The one that featured the $50 Tar-Jay Gift Card, in honor of my 364 posts these past 12 months, and all. March 31st...what a random date to start a blog, huh?

Cue the drumroll, please. And The Winner Is...

Carebear! Her Coolio Caption seemed Just Write for this Sensational Snap. Don't you think? So, CB...give me a holler with all your contact info at scholastic_scribe@hotmail.com, & I'll get that $50 Tar-Jay Gift Card in the mail to ya right away. Congrats! And thanks to everyone who contributed to the special edition of the Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. Tune in every Sunday, for more Sx3 fun!

But I'm. Not. Done. Yet!

As part of the festivities, I'd also like to hand out some Bloggy Bling. But pay attention, peeps...this isn't just your run-of-the-mill Blog Schlock I'm peddling here. This here's The Superior Scribbler Award. Since I first bestowed this special Bit o' Bling back in October, we've registered 684 Superior Scribblers worldwide, and counting!

So, you winners you, whom I'm announcing below, Don't Break The Chain, y'all. Follow the rules, if you please, and pass this sucker along.

Of course, as with every Bloggy Award, there are A Few Rules. They are, forthwith:

• Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
• Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award. In this case, that would be moi.
• Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
• Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
• Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog

Are ya on the edge of your seats yet? OK, here goes...I hereby bequeath The Superior Scribbler Award to the Following Bloggers in Good Standing:

• Optimistic Cynicism. Gotta love the paradox in the blog title. And she wants to have her cake & eat it, too.
• Dept. of Nance. An English Teacher after my own heart. And she also blogs about Brian Williams' ties.
• Michael S Weller's Blog. He grows yellow roses. And he's a pretty sharp guy for someone who resides on the Left Coast! But why no period after his middle initial?
• Show My Face. She is the proprietress of 6-Word Saturday. And that's my favorite place to hang out on the weekends.
• Poetry and Hums. She turned me on to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. And she quotes Winnie the Pooh. What's not to love?

OK, Ladies & Gent. You have your assignment...go forth & Scribble Something Superior...and don't forget to pass the Bloggy Bling along, OK?

"It Was a Joke!"

First things first. To get in on the Silly Sunday Sweepstakes & try your chance for a $50 Tar-Jay Gift Card, Click Here. Contest closes tonite at 11:59 p.m. EST. Mrs. Scribe will announce the winner tomorrow, in her 1st Blogoversary Post.

Second things second. I've got North Carolina in the March Madness pool. They certainly shellacked Oklahoma last nite didn't they? Go, Tar Heels!

Third things third. Love watching the b-ball & all, but the commercials are starting to wear on me. No más with the beer salesman falling down the stairs in the arena. Ditto with the talking babies...funny the first few hundred thousand times, but please. Their CGI-ed mouths don't even sync with the words!

That leaves us with Bud Light. Moderately amusing. This one's the best of the bunch. I'd say it has "watchability," wouldn't you? It's also the way I feel sometimes at meetings. Would just love to give Ye Olde Heave Ho to some of the windbags I work with!

Hey, look on the bright side of this commercial janx. Viagra and Cialis don't seem to be sponsoring March Madness. Praise the Lord for small miracles...so to speak.

Sx3: Celebrate a Blogoversary; Win a $50 Tar-Jay Gift Card!

Meet Ed. He used to live in FLA. Then his people moved to Kentucky. Mrs. Scribe found him on the Internet.

Today's Silly Sunday Sweepstakes is For Real this week...mainly because The Scholastic Scribe celebrates its 1st anniversary-blogoversary on Tuesday. That would be the 31st of March. The day before April Fool's Day.

Tuesday will be my 364th post, and my 1-year Blogoversary! I lost a few days in August, & gained a couple more along the way. Didn't post every day during the past year, but most days I was hanging around this very spot.

To celebrate the start of Year 2, we're doing things a little differently today and tomorrow. Running a little ol' contest, as it were. The Sx3 Rules of Engagement will remain the same; you'll just have an extra day to show us what ya got, & will be rewarded for the effort!

So, for a chance at a $50 Target Gift Card, here's what ya gotta do. Take a Gander at this Superior Snap. Conjure a Caption for said snap, and tippy-tap that sucker right here, right now, in the Comments section of this post. It's that simple! We over here at The Scholastic Scribe will judge your efforts & will reward the funniest among you.

No pressure. The Sx3 1-Year Blogoversary Caption Contest is open until 11:59 p.m./EST on Monday, March 30. So, get your thinking caps on: Let the games begin!

6-Word Saturday: Operation Love Zimbabwe

Zimbabwe needs your help.

Now, Please!

Mrs. Scribe is participating in 6-Word Saturday today. This morning, we have a life-or-death message for you.

Mozi Esmé's Mommy sponsored Operation Love Zimbabwe in February. As part of an outreach & fundraising campaign to help this destitute African nation, she hosted a series of giveaways. Mrs. Scribe is more than humbled to be the recipient of the Shona Stone Carving, pictured above with Mozi Esmé, which is a symbol of what family means to the people of Zimbabwe.

Mozi Esmé and her family are humanitarian aid workers in Mozambique, one of Zimbabwe's neighbors. After their stint with Maranatha Volunteers ends, they will be headed to Mutare, Zimbabwe, to work at an orphanage there. Because Mozi Esmé's family feels so close to the Zimbabwean crisis, her Mom decided to launch Operation Love Zimbabwe.

A recap of the dire situation in this East-African nation, taken from Mozi Esmé's blog:

Not much more than a decade ago, Zimbabwe was known as the bread basket of the region. It produced enough food to feed not only its own people, but those of other countries as well.

A lot can happen in a decade. Today, Zimbabwe is a basket case.

Robert Mugabe, of the ZANU-PF party, became prime minister of Zimbabwe following independence from British rule in 1980. In the early 1990s, as neighboring South Africa was approaching its first democratic election and Mozambique was in peace negotiations at the end of its civil war, Zimbabwe began a downward spiral.

In 1997, Mugabe announced a land redistribution program, taking productive farmland and dividing it among landless blacks. Due to protests, the government backed down, but in 2000 government-backed militias began violently occupying white-owned farms.

Allegations of voter intimidation tainted the 2002 election. which left Mugabe in power. In 2008, inspite of voter intimidation, Mugabe had only 43.2 percent of the vote. Yet Mugabe is still running the country.

Zimbabwe is in the middle of social and economic collapse. State-sponsored terror and anarchy is rampant. The downward spiral continues to exceed worst expectations. And it seems very little is being done to stop the madness.

Inflation. In December, Zimbabwe's annual inflation rate was reported to be 516 quintillion percent. Think 18 zeros. In most minds, including mine, that's unfathomable - kind of like infinity. Consumer prices are doubling on average every 1.3 days. That means you've got a lot of starving billionaires.

Life Expectancy. At 37 years for men and 34 for women, Zimbabwe's life expectancy is the lowest in the world. Infant mortality has doubled since 1990.

Starvation. Seven million Zimbabweans are in need of food aid, up from 5.1 million last June. But food aid is actually in decline, thanks to the multiplying problems facing aid providers in Zimbabwe. Donations to food programs are down around the globe. And all indications are that next year's harvest will be worst than the last, resulting in even more need.

Health System. Hospitals have been shutting down due to lack medical supplies and personnel. People are dying for illnesses that aren't supposed to be fatal. With a box of latex gloves costing the equivalent of US$500 at times, there is little available to combat the current cholera epidemic, which was killed well over 3,000 people so far. The collapse of the country's water and sanitation systems hasn't helped.

AIDS. Even with the cholera epidemic, AIDS remains the biggest killer. The 2005 UNICEF statistics put the HIV prevalence rate at 20.1%. As one doctor puts it, "people are dying of AIDS before they can starve to death." And the number of AIDS orphans increases.

Education. The start of the 2009 school year has been officially postponed, as there are no teachers willing to work. A teacher's monthly salary in December was US$1, about the cost for bus fare to get him or her to work one day. And so dwindles the hope for Zimbabwe's future.

How you, Dear Readers, can help the people of Zimbabwe:

Donate Money. There are many great humanitarian organizations working in Zimbabwe. Click here for a list of relief organizations and U.N. agencies working in the Zimbabwe crisis.

Volunteer Your Time. Many of these same organizations are looking for volunteers, too. They may need them in Zimbabwe, or they may be looking for remote assistance.

Write to Your Government Representatives. If you are a citizen of a free country, consider expressing your concerns to your government representatives. Pressure from outside countries can make a difference. For information on who to write and what to say, US citizens can check out Christian Solidarity Worldwide's website.

Light a Candle. See the earlier post on this.

Pray. God is ultimately in control here. "For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him." Colossians 1:16

Zimbabwe is running out of time. Whatever you can do, no matter how small, can make a difference. We need to act. Now.

Beach Cat Does Spring Breakdown

Editor's Note: Last in a series of Spring Breakdown Posts, courtesy of Ella Numera Una. She and her 3 college budz spent the week in PCB, FLA. The girlz will be cruising back to college mañana. Why is it that there seems to be an alcohol-laced theme running throughout these posts? I guess I just don't remember ever being this young! Today's offering is brought to you by Candid Carrie & her Friday Foto Finish Fiesta!

Not much new happening here...

Wednesday was supposed to be rainy, but it turned in our favor and we had some great sun in the morning, so much that when we went out, we didn't put on sunscreen because it was overcast. Came back in 3 1/2 hours later a little rosy.

We went out to dinner Wednesday...to Pinneapple Willy's, where my cousins always go, and got 24-oz drinks for 9 dollars (and only $7.50 refills)!

Yesterday, we got thunderstorms and were under a tornado watch. It rained buckets and we decided going to the movies and doing some shopping was the best option.

This snap is of a neighborhood cat, very tame, with a collar and no tags, who prances around the community. It's nice to have met a furry friend.

The weather is supposed to be iffy today as well, but we're hoping for a little bit of sunshine in between storms for our last day at the beach!

The Sun Will Come Out...Tomorrow?

Editor's Note: Here ya go...the 4th in a series of Spring Break Posts. Ella Numera Una is on the Front Lines in Panama City Beach, FLA. Take it away, Ella!

Reporting from bee-yoo-ti-ful PCB, Florida!

Today was perfectly sunny, no clouds in sight. Buttttt...a tad windy. And when I say a tad, I mean that within 5 minutes on the beach our blanket was sugar-coated in a light layer of sand. So we decided to trade the sand for the pool, and spent the morning at the pool by our condo...it's heated, and way warmer than the ocean!

We ventured to the beach in the afternoon, and it was still pretty windy, but we took refuge behind a big plywood chair-holder to block some of the wind. After getting settled and breaking out the piña coladas from our cooler, we were approached by 2 boys and a girl around our age. They asked us if we could answer a few questions for them, so we said sure and they sat down. Turns out they're some kind of Christian group... Students at University of Illinois, Campus Crusaders...they spent 20-30 minutes talking to us about God and finding Jesus.

We politely listened, of course, but found it pretty odd. We assumed we looked like an approachable group because we weren't doing keg stands on the beach. So definitely a WIDE variety of people and experiences here!

We went out tonight for the sunset; not too spectacular because there were clouds low on the horizon, but we had fun with the beach to ourselves. There's a slight chance of rain and t-storms the next couple of days, so pray for us to make sure the sun will come out tomorrow!

What's the Word Wednesday: Grillin' & Chillin'

Editor's Note: Another in the series of Guest Posts from Ella Numera Una. She & 3 college galfriends are on Spring Break in FLA. Ella writes today about the Fine Arts of Grillin' & Chillin'.

Days numero dos y tres (it's like 2 and a half, but I don't know how to say "half "in Spanish)...

We beached it again all day today, from about 10 a.m. til 4 p.m. It was sunny and warm the first half, and when we came back from lunch, a little overcast. We fixed that with naps in our condo and some bad TV. Then we became ambitious and decided we wanted to grill out for dinner.

Realizing none of us had ever lit a charcoal grill before, we called for reinforcements. First Mom, then the house, neither of which answered. Then Dad, who was in class but helped us anyway. Then Mom, again. Finally, we got it figured out.

We grilled burgers and enjoyed the cooler weather out on our back "patio," more like a concrete square. Overall, a decent success. And burgers and a good Spotted Cow (a microbrew from the Upper Midwest) was delish. Of course, we purchased beer at home before venturing out, because of the more delicious selection and no alcohol tax. Basically, we're thinkers.

Tomorrow we're thinking about asking the boys near us who dug a beer pong "court" in the sand (two giant holes about 6 feet apart with smooth sand between them) if we can get a game in.

So far, a pretty interesting vay-cay. A great mix of people...families, geriatrics, and everyone in between. M made friends with the 2-year-old whose blanket was by us as well as some elderly folks on her morning runs. T has made friends with the college crowd...the drunk boys like her "curves"...on our beach walks. E looks like a tomato (she prefers strawberry) and I'm convincing my Midwestern friends to go swimming in the ocean.

In the snap above, I'm basically trying to act like Daddy when he's Grillin' & Chillin'. Sweet!

Spring Breakdown: From the Front Lines

Editor's Note: The following is a Guest Post from Ella Numera Una. She's reporting from the Spring Break Front Lines in Panama City Beach, FLA. M & T, above, are strolling away from the "very drunk people" mentioned in Numera Una's post. The child also reports that as the 4 girls were driving into town, several young men "barked" at them. Who let the dogs out?

After getting here at 1 p.m., we laid out on the beach and took a quick nap and then went grocery shopping and unpacked the car. Exciting stuff! We were all in bed by 8:45, which is what a 21-hour car ride will do to you.

After the nice 12 hours of sleep, we were up and ready. It's about 75 degrees and sunny here, which beats school, where it's still a brisk 30 and snow showers. We hit the beach with Rolling Rocks, books and sunscreen and stayed out for about 6 hours.

Some Classic Spring Break action down the beach from us, and we walked past a beach whose every square inch is covered in beer cans and a lot of very drunk people. We got hooted and hollered at a couple times, but nothing too big.

Our beach is home to some college groups like us, a few families, and a LOT of old people. Our condo is next door to the president of the homeowners association of our complex, a man of about 75, who toodles around the development in his American Flag golf cart.

More later. Gotta rejoin the fight!

Spring Breakdown

As y'all already know, Ella Numera Una is a Big, Bad, College Senior. She's never done anything remotely resembling Wild & Crazy during 4 years away from home...that her folks know about, anyway...so she & 3 friends decided to go for a spin to Panama City Beach, FLA, to check out the Sun, the Sand, & the Surf, along with a few other indulgences that 20-something kidz get involved in during their Spring Breakdown.

Ella's college is on the "quarter" system, so Spring Break is even more significant. Clean slate, new classes, last term of senior year coming up when they return from their adventure Down South.

The Girlz estimated 20+ hours going south in the 2001 gold Honda Civic, which Ella's Mama affectionately refers to as the "Midget-Mobile." Here's the first snap & first e-mail from the trip. The driver, one of Ella's traveling companions, looks psyched for the adventure, doesn't she?

Finals are finally done!

We started our journey today at 3-ish, leaving from a chilly 35-degree campus. We came up with 19 different hours of theme music playlists to get us through the drive. We just finished listening to Pop Princess Hour. M and I are looking forward to stopping at a Ma and Pa restaurant in Kentucky or Tennessee for breakfast. I'll let you know if anything gets more exciting.

We'll send updates from the FLA Breakdown Scene, if they are warranted, or even mildly entertaining.

So, if you see 4 cute College Girlz cruising around the Panama City Beach area in a Gold Midget-Mobile with VA tags, please give them a holler from La Familia Scribe. It's hard to let them go & grow up, ain't it? I have to admit, though...I'm a tad jealous!

Sx3: Slow Dancing?

We at The Scholastic Scribe rarely do videos for Sx3. As a matter of fact, we've done an Sx3 video once, with limited success. But this vid bears noticing. And thanks to Gilahi for alerting us to all the possibilities.

You know what to do, Scribe Fans. Take a gander at this Voluptuous Video (as opposed to our usual Superior Snap). Conjur a caption. Tippy-type that caption right quick in the comments section of this post.

There you have it! You'll win nothing tangible, this time around at least. Just Mrs. Scribe's enduring admiration & affection. Just Do It!

6-Word Saturday: The Giving Spirit

Beautiful berry bowl. I won it!

Thanks so much to Mannequin at Fractured Toy. I entered her Mississippi Clayworks Giveaway, and won the Grand Prize! A beautiful hand-thrown berry bowl and plate, from the Hastings, Minnesota, kiln of potter Ron Martino!

And your Humble Scribe, being the magnanimous person that she is, gave away her giveaway prize. My SIL recently celebrated a birthday. Thought she'd need a pick-me-up, 'cause we're Now the Same Age.

Needless to say, SIL was Berry Happy with her Birthday Gift...Thanks, Mannequin!

FYI 6-Word Saturday is brought to you by Cate at Show My Face.

Fx4: The OBX & Emily Dickinson

For Candid Carrie's Fx4, another "beach" snap from last weekend's journey. And a poem. The thing I like most about this snap is that the sky looks like it could be the ocean, churning away. Enjoy!

By The Sea

I started early, took my dog, And visited the sea;
The mermaids in the basement
Came out to look at me.

And frigates in the upper floor
Extended hempen hands,
Presuming me to be a mouse
Aground, upon the sands.

But no man moved me till the tide
Went past my simple shoe,
And past my apron and my belt,
And past my bodice too,

And made as he would eat me up
As wholly as a dew
Upon a dandelion's sleeve -
And then I started too.

And he - he followed close behind;
I felt his silver heel
Upon my ankle, - then my shoes
Would overflow with pearl.

Until we met the solid town,
No man he seemed to know;
And bowing with a mighty look
At me, the sea withdrew.

Emily Dickinson

My Mom's a Rock Star, Right?

The Mom Quiz, acquired from Deanna, of Deanna's Corner. No, it's not Mother's Day yet, & yes, it's still March. Just have your kids take this quiz Because, OK?

Answers courtesy of Ella Numera Una y Ella Numera Dos. Try to tell which one of Mrs. Scribe's personal Cherubs is going to be the loquacious lawyer & which is the tenacious Scandinavian:

1. What is something Mom always says to you?
Numera Una: You're room looks like a pig sty.

2. What makes Mom happy?
Numera Una: When she comes home from work and the dishwasher is emptied, the kitchen is clean and all the other odd jobs are taken care of.

Numera Dos: Me calling her.

3. What makes Mom sad?
Numera Una: Not much. Sometimes sappy movies or TV news stories. And thinking about her parents.

4. How does your Mom make you laugh?

Numera Una: By making up her own lyrics to popular songs and unpopular songs, and dancing.

Numera Dos: She reminds me of something/someone ridiculous like my swim coaches.

5. What was your Mom like as a child?
Numera Una: Probably a lot like me. A little bit bossy, smart, funny, liked school. But she definitely was mischievous.

Numera Dos: Rebellious

6. How tall is your Mom?

Numera Una (who is on the petite side): TALL. 5 feet 9 or 10 inches.

Numera Dos (who is now taller than her Mom): 5'8", she claims!

7. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?

Numera Una: The news. Seinfeld and old movies.

Numera Dos: Seinfeld.

8. What does your Mom do when you're not around?

Numera Una: BLOGS! Goes to the beach. Gardens. Reads. Takes a nap.

Numera Dos: Blogs.

9. If your Mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

Numera Una: Writing. I think she should write a novel.

Numera Dos: Writing.

10. What is your Mom really good at?

Numera Una: Writing. Again, I think she should write a novel. She's pretty good at giving advice and solving my problems as well. And really good at editing my papers; she still does it and I'm a senior in college!

Numera Dos: Writing and helping me with my writing.

11. What is your Mom not very good at?

Numera Una: Not much. Probably thinking that she's always right when she's not. But I have that problem, too.

Numera Dos: Math and singing.

12. What is your Mom's favorite food?

Numera Una: Tex-Mex and chocolate.

Numera Dos: Steak?

13. What makes you proud of your Mom?

Numera Una: I think that her career has made me proud of her. She has shown me that you can make your passions and work a priority and still have a family. Her relationship with my Dad has also makes me very proud. And her general awesomeness makes me proud every day.

Numera Dos: When she doesn't wear "Mom" clothes.

14. If your Mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Numera Una: Lucy from Peanuts.

15. What do you and your Mom do together?

Numera Una: Go to the beach. Usually just hang, sometimes go to the mall or run errands. A big one is going to Starbucks because she is addicted. And watch movies or go out to eat.

Numera Dos: Eat, shop and watch movies.

16. How are you and your Mom the same?

Numera Una: We have very similar personalities. We have the same sense of humor, share some of the same opinions (we're both very opinionated) and talk a lot.

Numera Dos: I've got some of her Texan in me.

17. How are you and your Mom different?

Numera Una: When our opinions clash and we argue about them.

Numera Dos: I'm very Norwegian!

18. How do you know your Mom loves you?

Numera Una: Because she supports me in everything I do, no matter what it is. Because she'll call me three times a day to remind me of something. She makes me call her no matter where I'm traveling to when I leave and when I arrive. And because she cries at my swim meets.

Numera Dos: She picks the shrimp out of my jambalaya.

19. What does your Mom like most about your Dad?

Numera Una: I think his odd sense of humor. He tells some pretty bad jokes but she always at least smiles and usually laughs.

Numera Dos: He does the laundry.

20. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Numera Una: Duck, North Carolina.

Numera Dos: The beach.

What's the Word Wednesday: Freshman

In the heirarchy of Our Humble High School, freshmen are bottom-feeders.

Seniors call them "fresh meat," and threaten to stuff them in cafeteria trashcans at lunch.

Teachers try to help them make the adjustment from middle school to The Show, but secretly spend the year hoping that the 14-year-olds will at least remember to put on deoderant after PE.

Even The Boob Tube disrespects the Lowly Freshman. The funniest part of this commercial is not the deliveryman who sends Callahan to detention; it's the Little Froshie, shut up in a locker. Even the way he thanks the gal who releases him is pathetic.

Poor kids...don't they realize they're Peeing with the Big Dogs now?

Who Squeezed the Charmin, Indeed!

Mr. Fairway reminded me that I needed to pick up some toilet paper.

Bags loaded into the trunk, I scooted through springtime raindrops to get home in time for Oprah. Well, really, I put the pedal to the metal because I had to pee. Unloaded the groceries, unburdened my bladder. So.

I forgot the TP.

Life was so much simpler when we lived in The City. Run out of margarine? The Little Market On The Corner had an ample supply. Need a dash of Tabasco? The Little Store On The Next Block always had the spicy condiment in stock.

The immigrant Korean merchants who run these establishments are thrifty. They know the demographic. They mark up their prices way beyond what the market should be able to bear. But they rake in the customers. They make money. They've carved out their niche. The name of the game is convenience.

In DC, my Quest for TP would have been NBD. I would have been out & back in my comfy living room faster than one could say, "Who squeezed the Charmin?"

With my duties done & my groceries put away, I began what we have come to know out here in the 'Burbs as The Suburban Shuffle. A little like the Hokey-Pokie, only not half as fun.

Car Keys? Check. Wallet? Check. Grocery Discount Card? Check. Cash? No problema. The bank is near the store, & they have a drive-up window.

After a 5-car backup & a jammed ATM, The Toilet Paper Patrol was ready to roll.

After a fuel-burning, engine-idling, global warming-causing, 22-minute parking space hunt, The TP Brigade prepared to launch.

After a mad dash through an every-increasing rainstorm, I grabbed my prey & headed to the checkout line. The cashier closed her register after the guy in front of me. 4 out of 5 of the self-serve lanes were "out of order."

A Good Samaritan let me sneak in front of her. After all, I had one item; she had six hundred and 43.

Sure, The City has crime. The City has poverty. Higher taxes, bad schools, a growing homeless population, rats as big as cats, irregular sanitation service.

But The City has Little Corner Stores. And they would never dream of thwarting a consumer's quest for TP.

Mr. Whipple would be proud.

Editor's Note: Mrs. Scribe penned this out of frustration & as part of her March contribution to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 385 words.

Chris Brown: Guilty as Charged?

The Chris Brown/Rihanna "incident" is registering high on the Emotional Meter at Our Humble High School. Several of Mrs. Scribe's students have become embroiled in shouting matches unparalleled in Your Humble Scribe's experience. One such confrontation almost turned violent the other day.

Ellen DeGeneres took P Diddy to task a tad on her show last week, for harboring Brown & giving him a sanctuary to "make up" with Rihanna. While the former Sean Combs tried to "dance it off," Ellen makes an excellent point.

Mrs. Scribe fears that if the Fun Couple kisses & makes up, many of her female students will think they should follow this deplorable example. How sad.

Silly Sunday Sweepstakes: The Sound of Music?

Have ABSOLUTELY no idea from whence this photo originated. Just know that it tickled Mrs. Scribe's Funny Bone at some point, so there you have it!

You know what to do, Scribe Fans. Take a gander at this Somewhat Superior Snap. Conjur a Creative Caption. Post that sucker in the Comments section of this here post. And that's it!

Of course, you'll win nothing tangible...at least this week, anyway...for your efforts. Just the knowledge that you made Your Humble Scribe chuckle on a dark & rainy Sunday morning. And that's worth all the effort, correctamundo?

You need to stay in good shape, too, for when Sx3 offers REAL bling a couple of weeks from now. Just ask Edna Lee!

6-Word Saturday: Life's a Beach

Cold. Ocean angry. Walk beach? Yes!

Mrs. Scribe has made one of her semi-annual excursions to North Carolina's Outer Banx. 40 degrees. Wind & Rain. Stunning shells? Unlikely! Welcome to 6-word Saturday, brought to you by Cate at Show My Face.

Fx4: Bloomin' Beautiful!

Don't you think? Mrs. Scribe was excited...nay, elated...to see these little dandies bravely putting their pretty purple selves forth yesterday afternoon!

We're struggling with up and down temps, as you may remember from last week's Sx3. Today we're cultivating Candid Carrie, & her Friday Foto Finish Fiesta. Please play along!

Isn't It Ironic?

Speaking of irony (as we were yesterday), the following came verbatim from our local newspaper:

SILVER SPRING, Md. -- Montgomery County police say 16 people were arrested after a fight broke out during a concert held to promote nonviolence and to remember a Silver Spring teen killed last year.

The free Stop the Violence youth concert was held Saturday night on Ellsworth Street in downtown Silver Spring in memory of 14-year-old Montgomery Blair High School student Tai Lam, who was shot to death in November.

Police say fighting broke out near the stage toward the end of the concert and at least one person resisted arrest. Police say 16 adults and juveniles were arrested for offenses such as assault and disorderly conduct.

FYI, Susie, from Susie's Homemade, correctly identified the irony in yesterday's post. She wins a copy of The Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan. Congrats, Susie!

What's the Word Wednesday: Coincidence or Irony?

Yes, Scribe Fans, we have a winner! Random.org selected the recipient of Amy Tan's masterpiece, The Opposite of Fate, & I'm just tickled to announce that

Marrdy, of One Krazy Kat Lady

wins the Grand Prize! What a shockeroo that a Bloggy Friend & Confident would be selected by this random integer generator & all, but there you have it! Marrdy, please send Mrs. Scribe your contact info ASAP, so you can start reading!

In honor of this coincidence (although some may call it irony, which it's clearly not), Your Humble Scribe brings you the Alanis Morissette video, "Ironic." And another mini-contest, just for today, OK?

Every example in this song is a coincidence. For a chance to win yet ANOTHER copy of The Opposite of Fate, can you tell Mrs. Scribe the only piece of irony in this song? First one with the correct answer wins!

Thanks so much to the SITS Girls for hosting yesterday's Spring Fling. Had a blast!

SITS Spring Fling...The Opposite of Fate

Mrs. Scribe is participating in the SITS Spring Fling today...that's the Grand Giveaway Carnival, which features hourly giveaways over at The Secret Is In The Sauce, as well as individual giveaways at hundreds of blogs...like this one. So, take your shoes off, get comfortable, peruse Mrs. Scribe's Place, and leave a comment to win!

Today we're featuring one of the best books ever...The Opposite of Fate, by famed author Amy Tan. This is the hardcover edition, which retails for $25-and it's worth every penny! Mrs. Scribe gave this collection away as part of MammaDawg's Everglow Birthday Extravaganza. It's sure to be a staple in giveaways to come!

As the self-proclaimed Superior Scribbler of the Blogosphere, Mrs. Scribe certainly knows what she's talking about when she gives this collection of eclectic essays a rave review.

The Opposite of Fate, which spans author Amy Tan's extremely prolific literary life, expresses doubt, joy, love, curiosity, anger, bewilderment, sadness, trepidation. The depth & breadth of this beautiful collection, which comes from the author of The Joy Luck Club & The Kitchen God's Wife (among others), is quite remarkable.

Tan has a unique way of juxtaposing real life with both her personal struggles and her literary ideas, which makes everything in this crazy world sort of make sense.

"As a storyteller, I know that if I don't like the ending, I can write a better one," the well-known author says in one of her pieces. Tan knows she's just a storyteller, but also conveys the message that we all have a certain power over our lives, which she dubs, "The opposite of fate."

Please leave a comment, y'all...this prize is soooooooo worth it! Mrs. Scribe, natch, will select the winner by random drawing.

The Hardest Part of a Teacher's Job

Mr. Fairway leaned across the table over dinner the other night.

"You're such a good teacher." The man hands out compliments about as often as snow falls in Malibu (and that was exactly 3 times this winter); his remark made an impression.

But he wasn't referring to tests, or essays, or helping out a Cherub who was short on lunch money...all things I've done more than once. He was talking about the hardest part of a teacher's job. Going to funerals.

I attended another memorial service on Saturday, for the father of my Yearbook Editor. Felled in the prime of life. Extinguished by heart attack at the age of 50.

The process never gets any easier. In fact, I'd rather grade a stack of horrid timed writings than have to face a sanctuary full of mourners one more time. But it's something I do; not because I have to, but, really, because I need to. For my peace of mind. For the kids.

The service was short, upbeat; a celebration of this Dad's life. His extended family was there. My Yearbook Cherub greeted congregants outside, smiling, laughing, carrying on several conversations at once. She was so strong. I felt like the student; she was the teacher that day.

The funerals, wakes, viewings & memorial services, over 15 years of teaching, become a part of the process. More vivid than the imagery we study in Advanced Placement Language; far more insightful & full of meaning than the standardized tests we administered last week.

The deaths of the students are the most difficult. The shining star gunned down a week after her 20th birthday in the Virginia Tech Massacre. The fun-loving ice hockey captain who killed himself on his siblings' swing set. The sweet, sweet grad who perished last August, whose death left even me without adequate words for several days.

Saturday, the family chose to celebrate a life, instead of mourn a death. The Dad who sang "Surfer Girl," much to the chagrin of his children. The Husband who held on to his Monte Carlo with the blue plush interior much longer than fashionably imaginable. The Friend who celebrated birthdays, commemorated milestones, and even mourned a few deaths himself over the years.

As I told Mr. Fairway after the service, my Cherubs make this difficult rite of passage bearable. But their very presence at a function that speaks of a life well-lived instead of a life soon-to-be-lived also leave the strings of my heart tied up in tiny little knots.

They shouldn't have to go through this. But at the same time, they must. We want to protect them, but at the same time we can't. Death is a part of growing up. We don't teach it, but somehow I think we should.

Editor's Note: Yet another March entry in The Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 462 words.

Sx3: Let It Snow!

This Superior Snap was shot on Mrs. Scribe's screened porch last week, when everything was covered in a blanket of white. Love the juxtaposition of the sign and the giant spruce on the other side of the screen, don't you? Screen...that's a funny word, ain't it?

You know what to do, correctamundo? Take a decent gander at this Snowy Snap, then Conjure a Caption. Post your Caption Love in the comments section of this post, & there you have it!

You'll win nothing tangible...this week, anyway...for your efforts. Just Mrs. Scribe's undying admiration & devotion. And stay tuned, Scribe Fans...you, too, could be a winner. Just like Edna Lee!

BTW, after we suffered a record snowfall 6 days ago, the thermometer hit 72 degrees yesterday and is headed up to 80 today...Global Warming, anyone?

6-Word Saturday

We can all make a difference!

First Lady Michelle Obama took to the streets of Washington Thursday, volunteering in the food line at Miriam's Kitchen in Northwest DC. Miriam's, as you may recall, is where Ella Numera Una spent last summer as an intern.

Mrs. Obama's visit really puts a face on a problem that has plagued DC and other burgs, both big & small, for a couple of decades. Especially in this time of economic turmoil, it's good to know that folks are still lending a hand to those in need. For the complete Washington Post story on the First Lady's visit, please Click Here. The snap above is also from The Post. Shot by Lois Raimondo.

Miriam's Kitchen was also the home-away-from-home for Yoshio Nakada, the homeless immigrant who was murdered last Christmas Eve, not far from the posh Watergate complex. Please take a look in Mrs. Scribe's sidebar for more info on Yoshio and how you, too, can help.

Please visit Show My Face for more 6-Word Saturday fun!

Fx4: Snow Day Redux

Well, Mrs. Scribe acquired a few good snaps the other day, so she's a-gonna use 'em! This was taken from inside the teeny-tiny automotive conveyance known as the Ella Numera Dos-mobile. The coche was parked out on the cul-de-sac, & Mrs. Scribe had to re-park that sucker so the Saint Roman Snow Team could get that there roadway down to pavement, as we say Down South.

That's Mr. Fairway on the left-hand side of the shot, trying to get some kind of traction on the windshield. And why are we showing you this Superior Snap? 'Cause Candid Carrie told us to! Please join her today for the Friday Foto Finish Fiesta!

Gold Medals for the Saint Roman Snow Team!

We moved into the Eye of the Storm in 1993. But the "Snow Team" always saved the day.

When we lived in DC, our Capitol Hill neighborhood saw the occasional snowflake. Indeed, we were inundated several times by inches....nay, feet...of the white stuff.

Mrs. Scribe even remembers sledding down the steps of the West Front of the US Capitol. Snow had piled up so high on that descending granite filigree, down the sharp incline headed toward the fountain at the bottom of the hill, that neighbors had constructed a makeshift ski jump.

These were, of course, the days before September 11th. Now it's darn near impossible to get on to the Capitol Grounds, regardless of the weather, much less toboggan down the steps.

When we moved to the 'burbs in '93, the winter temps seemed to plummet & the snow total just about doubled. Mrs. Scribe remembers more than one winter bumper-to-bumper afternoon commute, featuring jack-knifed tractor-trailers and fruitlessly spinning wheels; she was a SAHM back then, but one or the other of the kids was finishing up the school year in DC.

Stupendous snow accumulation was always a hallmark of the MLK holiday in the middle of January; snow days supplanted school in time for President's Day in February, and more than one snowflake marred the annual Cherry Blossom celebration at the end of March.

Until The Blizzard of 1996, that is.

In a series snowstorms to beat all snowstorms, this particularly precipitous form of frozen precipitation started piling up around King's B-Day, and didn't really stop, except for a few intermittent breaks, until the end of February. We had snow up the ying-yang, as Mr. Fairway would say. We had more snow than Carter's has pills (another MFW saying, whatever it means).

We were so overwhelmed back in '96 that the county brought in back-hoes & other Serious Looking Construction Equipment to move the snowy stuff off our street. The landfills were full of it, as were the vacant lots. Not to mention several side yards, including ours, which hosted a mountain of some 20 feet or more. Some of the frosty gunk didn't melt 'til well beyong Tax Time.

What was left to do but have a little fun?

The Canadian Guy down the street flooded his yard with a garden hose, & set up a makeshift ice hockey rink. That sucker was frozen solid for a good month! The kids built a toboggan run off an old van that was buried under several feet of the stuff, and scared us all silly as they Swooshed! into the street.

Even the adults got in on the act, in a grown-up kinda way.

The neighbors on our cul-de-sac pooled their resources & bought a snow-blower. Mr. Fairway & the neighbor with a mega-HUGE pickem up truck & a big ol' chain prowled the neighborhood, helping out hapless folks who'd gotten stuck in the snow. Mr. Fairway went down to the local screen-printing store and ordered T-Shirts.

We live on Saint Roman Drive. We think the developer was a lapsed Catholic, playing a little joke on the neighborhood. No such holy person seems to have ever existed in the annals of Catholic liturgy.

The black, long-sleeve T's honoring our Snow Team have a snowflake, natch, emblazoned across the front in white, & framed by the label, "Saint Roman Snow Team." As neighbors have moved and houses have changed hands over the years, the new inhabitants of our 5 little houses on the cul-de-sac buy their shares of the snowblower from the previous owners; the T-shirt gets handed down to the Man of the House.

3 members of the Original Saint Roman Snow Team still live on our court. They rescued us again Monday.

All Hail to the Saint Roman Snow Team!

Editor's Note: That one little ol' snow day sure did inspire Mrs. Scribe! The above is another March contribution to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge: 632 words.

What's the Word Wednesday: We Have a Winner!

"I'd like to report some false advertising.

That detergent was supposed to leave me spot-free!"

Felicidades to Edna Lee of Regurgitated Alpha Bits, the winner in The Scholastic Scribe's Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. Out of 61 intriguing entries, Mr. Fairway thought Edna pretty much summed up this Superior Snap in the most humorous fashion. Edna wins a $25 Tar-Jay gift card, & our enduring admiration, not to mention awe, for being so quick on the uptake.

Tara R.'s Kitty, Pollo del Fuego, also wins props from Mr. Fairway. "Lots of good captions for your photo contest," he says about Mrs. Scribe's nascent entry into bloggy giveaways, "but I thought this was cutest one to go with a cute picture."

Your Humble Scribe sponsors her Silly Sunday Sweepstakes...known to veterans as Sx3...every Sunday, natch. Mrs. Scribe has decided to start rewarding you Creative Caption Creators with a chance at tangible "bling" every once in awhile, so stay tuned for further offerings. And keep your creative wits about you...another Superior Snap is on its way this coming Sunday!

High Standards

Most public school districts feature some kind of culminating, end-of-year exercise, to prove that their Young Charges learned something the previous year. At Our Humble High School, these exercises are collectively known as the Standards of Learning tests. We administer them in March & in May.

The Cherubs must pass the SOLs, or else. Or else the State will dumb these "gatekeepers" down, make the tests easier, so the Cherubs will pass. Or else.

No one's ever really experienced the "or else" part of this equation. The tests keep getting easier. Most of the Cherubs continue to pass. In fact, our neighbor's Springer Spaniel...not the brightest crayon in the box, even on a good day...could pass these state-mandated Dog & Pony Shows.

What, pray tell, do SOLs have to do with the snap above? Everything & Nothing, at once & into perpetuity. Your Humble Scribe will explain.

The Weather Dudes began squawking early Saturday morn about the possibility of a Frozen Precipitation Event. The White Stuff. As in mucho, bueno, pronto. Traffic-tying-up tons. School-closing snow.

We, who labor in the trenches, as it were, knew better. Old Man Winter would have to drop a significant amount of snow on our little burg to necessitate a school-closing. This is the District that would not close the schools last month on a particularly treacherous Teacher Work Day. We professorial types must justify our existence, after all! Must attend worthless meetings to show we're professional! Must show The Powers That Be that we're trying like hell to figure out how get them Cherubs edumacated!

We, who face a Crumbling Infrastructure, Inadequate Technology, Surly Students & a Pompous Principal Man daily (and this, in one of the allegedly "finest" school districts in the land!), knew that it would take a mighty big Act of either God or Mother Nature to close the schools on an SOL Day.

The SOLs are more important than anything else in our school year. The Talisman of Good Teaching; the David that Goliath must conquer every year. Yes, we switched the names on purpose.

Hush your mouth, Weather Dude. Superintendent Man will not close the schools. Faced with the choice of keeping its charges safe & warm or proceeding with the damned test, the DT will prevail every time.

Until 8:45 Sunday nite. SM did the unthinkable. The unpardonable. The unfathomable.

Canceled school for Monday. Postponed the SOLs.

As the snow continued to fall Monday morning, piling up 6, then 7, up to 9 inches, we witnessed the gift that kept on giving. Snow Days. Our precipitation-related vay-cays have been few & far between in recent years. Blame Global Warming, if you will. Most of us, though, blame the empty hubris of a school district that insists that Teaching to the Test will tell us something we don't already know; will ultimately prepare our Cherubs for "the real world."

Perhaps. But Monday morning, Mrs. Scribe went back to bed, instead.

Editor's Note: Mrs. Scribe has been prolific this week, possibly because of the unexpected Snow Day. This is her second March contribution to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 491 words. BTW, Mrs. Scribe will announce the winner of the $25 Target Gift Card in tomorrow's post!

Can You Hear Me Now?

Created by Train Horns

When Mrs. Scribe was a but a cherub herself, she coveted Rock 'n' Roll. If Dallas' downtown Memorial Auditorium or SMU's Moody Colliseum were hosting an act that had to do with rock, whether famous, infamous or merely up-and-coming, Your Humble Scribe was there. She also hit the clubs on McKinney & Cole Avenues, even though she was underage.

Mrs. Scribe also likes to brag about attending the BEST concert of ALL TIME, or at least the most paradoxical...The Sex Pistols once opened for Merle Haggard at Big D's Lone Star Ballroom. More than a trip-and-a-half, for sure!

As a young Scribe, Ms. S. was once so intrepid that she even garnered a seat on one of the speakers...that would be on the actual stage...of a Doors concert, when Jim Morrison was on his last legs & couldn't even remember the words to "Light My Fire." Needless to say, Your Humble Scribe's eardrums throbbed for a full month...or more...after that!

So, imagine Mrs. Scribe's utter surprise & disbelief when she tested her hearing at this funny little site promoted by Cupcake, of A Truth Universally Acknowledged. She passed! As we used to say, Back in the Day, *WTF!*

Oh, & BTW, Mr. Fairway is still sifting thru entries to yesterday's Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. Mrs. Scribe will announce the winner in a day or 2.

And one more thing: Mrs. Scribe will be forcing her Cherubs to face southwest and recite "Texas, My Texas" this morning, in honor of Texas Independence Day. Well, we declared independence on March 2nd...we didn't really win the War for Independence until April 21st. And that's another holiday entirely!

Editor's Note: The first 4 paragraphs of this dissertation are Mrs. Scribe's first March contribution to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 198 Words.

Silly Sunday Sweepstakes: Win a Tar-Jay Gift Card!

Meet Pollo del Fuego. That's Chicken of the Fire, or some such, en Español. Pollo is WK's kitty. She resides at Tara R.'s house. And sometimes hangs out in Tara's dishwasher.

You know what to do with this Superior Snap, don't y'all? First off, take a Good Gander at it. Then, Cogitate a Creative Caption, & post that sucker in the comments section of this post. Easy as pie, correctamundo?

This week we're doin' somethin' a tad different, in honor of the first of the month & all. Making this a Real Live Contest. Best caption, as judged by Mr. Fairway, wins a $25 Target Gift Card. If this new twist takes off, we'll go "live" with this sucker the first of every month, OK?

So, get those Creative Juices flowing. Mrs. Scribe will announce the results sometime later this week, OK?