Saturday, June 13, 2009

SWS: Airport Security Made a Clean Sweep

6-Word Saturday is underway, & I wanted to take a bite out of something that bothers me.

Dude stole my tube of toothpaste.

This has never happened to me before. Seriously. Of course, since 9-11 we've all learned to live with the hassles of air travel. Heck, I live in the DC area, and I was flying out of National Airport. I'm grateful for the thorough security they have there.

Yesterday, however, I suffered an out-of-body experience. The first security gal took a long, hard look at my driver's license. She kept looking from the ID to me & back again. Yes, I know the snap on my new license is hideous, lady. New security precautions in VA dictate that I wasn't allowed to smile for that particular portrait.

But she didn't have to rub it in.

Then, I met the most helpful security dude. He got me 3 bins (I'm one of those annoying folks who carries on everything) & then helped me sort everything out. He then hefted my rolly onto the belt.

Service with a smile.

And speaking of smiles, one of Letterman's sidekicks was working the metal detector thingy, I think. He commented on my T-Shirt, then made a little joke. I joked back & then he joked back at me.

I was headed to my Happy Place. And as everyone knows, that's difficult at an airport.

I collected my backpack, my laptop, my shoes. But my rolly went missing. Turns out Security Guy from Hell was holding it hostage, over at one of those stainless steel tables they have in the screening area.

He investigated my cosmetics, such as they are. He dug thru the zippered pouch in which I keep my incidentals & unquestionables-actually, I use my Dad's old shaving kit. He unwound the clothes that I had carefully rolled (in a feeble attempt to prevent wrinkles) & he pawed thru the lovely blouses and skirts I'd packed so carefully.

I'm attending a college graduation this weekend. I want to look spiffy, ya know.

SGFH finally looked at me, grinned & zipped the rolly back up. Then, just when I thought I was in the clear, he hoisted it back on the screening belt.

Two. More. Times. Then he pawed thru my Dad's shaving kit once again. And hit the jackpot.

He'd discovered my secret stash of toothpaste. 6.4 ounces of Colgate, according to the label. Although I'd testify in court that it was more like the allowable 3 ounces, since the tube had been squeezed down a good 3 ounces or so.

"You're not allowed to have this," he mumbled in my direction.

"Sorry," I muttered contritely. Don't want to get these gentlemen angry now, do we?

I wonder if he was being so thorough because of Wednesday's shooting at the Holocaust Memorial Museum. I wonder if he takes home the stuff he confiscates on the job.

The Fire Wire contributed the image. Cate at Show My Face contributes Six Word Saturday. Thank you for your support.


Ronnica said...

Sounds like you were driving him bonkers since he couldn't find out where the toothpaste tube he saw on the screen was!

Lindy said...

I tried that once with a partially used tube of toothpaste, thinking it was ok. No, left it in P'cola airport. Happy SWS!

LadyStyx said...

picky picky picky. Geez. I can understand with the shampoo and conditioner bottles....but with a tube that squeezes clear down? *shakes head, moves along*

TeachJ said...

I hadn't flown in years, but last summer I flew to Arizona and was terrified of being delayed by the TSA. So, I checked out their web site, where they clearly state the insane regulations on toothpaste size, etc. What a crazy world we live in and what we are willing to put up with just to get on an airplane.

HappyChyck said...

Hmmm...Lately, it seems you just can't stay out of trouble. Always walking the edge, aren't you? Such a rebel.

Yes! What do they do with all the confiscated toiletries? Such waste.

Tortuga said...

Ok, here's my 6 words for you!

Maybe Now He'll Have Clean Teeth!

AudreyO said...

Security these days is such a long drawn out ordeal. I waited in line forever last time I flew. Hope it wasn't an expensive tube.

Cairo Typ0 said...

That drives me nuts! I totally agree: even if the container holds more than the allowable amount, if the amount in it is within limits it should go through! *pout*

Call Me Cate said...

As long as they're just as thorough with the next guy, I don't complain. Thanks for playing!

Maggi said...

lol So sorry you had a run in with the "law"! Oh well, the fuzz need to fight tartar too I guess. :P

a corgi said...

wow, didn't realize you couldn't carry on that much toothpaste; I understand security and I'm all for safety in the skies.....but.....interesting 6-word Saturday entry

hope you are enjoying your weekend and the graduation


Brandi said...

LOL You are hilarious! Sadly it's the rules (omg you should have been around the day AFTER they stopped letting liquids go through - this was just in 06 - sooo many people had to give up some very valuable perfumes ... TSA hit the jackpot!).

Once they told me I couldn't bring my toothpaste through when I had it all organized and in it's little baggy. I smiled politely and said I'd be right back ... showed up ten minutes later with a bright smile on my face and a fabulous Flight Attendant uniform on. He wasn't too happy when I brought my toothpaste through, but rules rules! HA!!!

Tulsi said...

One year we flew to Switzerland to visit my mom on Christmas. We'd never been before and didn't know if the kids would like the food so took a bottle of peanut butter. It was in my husbands suitcase. This suitcase was searched at EVERY place we went. I finally told them to throw it away. They didn't. This happened the year after 9/11 and they thought they were being picky. When my 15 year old was 14 she flew to WA DC for a week and we had to be so picky as what to send with her. Our skincare is expensive so I didn't want it thrown away. What do you hide in toothpaste???

Tulsi said...

I read Brandi's comment and it reminded me............ My husband was in MO on his way to Afghanistan in 2006. We had a week with our husbands if we flew out to Camp Shelby. We had boarded and was in Chicago when we heard some people crying and carrying on. After asking a few people, we found out that they had changed the rules. We were fine with what we had because we had been screened in Las Vegas but everyone had to throw tons of stuff away. I was so glad we were ok. I would have mailed my make up and things home before I tossed them. It was so weird to be traveling that very day.

Ribbon said...

silly stuff..

best wishes

PetalsYoga said...

I think you must be right about the Holocaust Museum shooting upping the ante, security-wise. Anyway, I'm sorry your trip will be a little less minty-fresh but I'm glad you're safe and sound.



Susie said...

It's unbelievable how "thorough" they are being!


Blog Widget by LinkWithin