This Cherub wants to be Newspaper Editor. Contemplate her dulcet tones. But first let me explain a few of the more arcane references.
Gourmet Foods is the lame-o home ec elective. If a Cherub doesn't perform well on staff, I often suggest said Journalista enroll in Gourmet Foods, instead. I think I've explained the Yuck List before, but the Black List is all the folks who've already been quoted too many times in a given school year. The Beat Book is the running list of good story ideas, which the Journalistas must contribute to every week. And Luis & Divya are 2 boys on the staff this year. They spend a lot of time talking sports, so we tease them about being a "couple."
I'd say this is enough to make Shakespeare sit up an take notice. Wouldn't you?
Here is a rap as to why I should be Editor
I make the photos really good and I am a good creditor
I been up on this staff for over 3 years
And I use my experience to help my peers
I make sure get everything done by deadline
And all the little kiddies need my help for headlines
I can be friendly to all the little frosh
Don't you remember Charlie, aka Josh?
I know all the rules for editing the pages,
and I'm gonna make sure that we have the ad wages
I'll make sure there's no flirting with Luis and Divya
And if ya don't turn things in on time I won't forgive ya
When we're not busy we'll have a raging party
I'm good at English, too, just ask Mrs. Moriarty
Yeah, she was my teacher for AP Lang
and with the exception of this rap, I learned not to use slang.
I look at all the lists, you know, the Yuck and the Black
If you don't follow those rules I'll give you a smack
I'm all about correcting dem stories
We'll be gettin awards and livin in the glory
You know I won't leave for Gourmet Foods
I'm not a "lazy teenager" like those other dudes
I'm all about being on time with the Beat Book,
So understand me, I'm off the hook
I won't pick up that cook book
I have what it takes to make this a great paper
So please don't be a hater
I'll be the heart and soul of the publication,
but only under one condition
If on The Paper you make me the right position
So, Mrs. Scribe, don't make me ask you again
Make me senior editor in oh ninte/ten!