Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dear Facebook,

I don't know you, but I know you only too well. I don't want you, but I think I secretly covet your access. I abhore the shackles you throw around my family, my friends, my associates. But I crave those chains sometimes, too.

So many of my more "mature" friends have succumbed to your wiley ways. You've seduced more than 150 million people on this planet since 2004. Could that figure be correct? Say it isn't so! But your stats online say it is.

More than half of those you're involved with aren't even in college. And I know that pisses the 19-somethings off no end. Their jealousy reaches to infinity & beyond when they discover your deceit. You're cheating with their Moms, their Great Uncle Joes, even their Grandmas! Have you no shame?

When others came calling, I resisted. Twitter tried to tweet me, but I turned the other cheek. MySpace once had me interested, but I didn't like living on the edge like that.

Your artifices are transparent. I know you want me for only one thing. And I'm not that kind of girl!

But you're wearing me out. Your magnetism is too strong, your reach too wide. I can feel the heat of your aura beating down on my soul. I fear I, too, may soon fall under your cyber-spell.

Give me a reason to want you. You don't need to send me chocolate-covered strawberries, or blow wet kisses in my ear. Just give me a real reason to care.

Please.

Editor's Note: Cruisin-Mom posted the snap above just the other day. She's got a funny take on Facebook..please give her a visit! The preceding is part of Mrs. Scribe's February contribution to The Random Complexity Writing Challenge: 256 words.

16 comments:

Rebecca said...

I must admit, I am addicted!

Lynda said...

I haven't wandered down the Facebook path yet...

Susie said...

I am one of the lucky ones that have gotten involved in Facebook however, I haven't been sucked in yet. It's kind of like my cell phone. I am one of the few people that actually only uses her for emergencies:-)

Deanna said...

LOVE Facebook... have found almost 150 of my high school friends. Of course the downside is that they keep posting our high school pics. It is a HOOT!

Sean Hogan said...

I got this email from my mom, who got it from a friend:

"I wanted to say "Hi" and to tell you that tonight was the 9th grade orientation night at WSHS and we used one of the mini-sessions to visit the journalism class. The teacher showed a video that apparently Jake Serwin, Jordy and Sean together. It was the funniest video -- all about journalism classes and working on the Oracle/yearbooks staffs. I guess it's essentially current since Jake is still at the school and still on staff (the editor of the Oracle this year, actually)....and also was the narrator of the video, but we didn't know Sean was going to be in it so when he showed up (in several "skits") we were pleasantly surprised, and of course, very amused. And of course he would be - they were all good buddies and all worked on the paper at the same time. (The teacher credited the semi-professional qauality of the film to Jordy, and refered to him as a student at USC's film school - so he got his kudos!) So, you'll have to tell Sean that he's still influencing little minds at WSHS and that his legacy lives on...:)"

Glad to see my legacy continues. And I figure you'll be excited at my next news-I'm joining an upstart newspaper at Tech!

HappyChyck said...

Oh, I've been sucked in. At first I thought it was lame because nobody I knew was on it. Now it's not as lame, and it's less tacky and controversial than MySpace.

Columbia Lily said...

I am on there and I love it because I have gotten back in touch with a LOT of people from high school that it is nice just to see how they are doing without emailing. You can see pictures of people's kids or whatever and I think it is great! I don't get super deep into it but I do really like it

Columbia Lily said...

and I HATE myspace. Too many flashing things.

Tiffany said...

I have a facebook acct, but I don't really know how to use it.

You're doing great on your Random Complexity Challenge.

dkzody said...

The thing about connecting with high school people....PUHLEEZE, why do you want to do that?

Your desire for Facebook sort of mimics my desire for an iPhone. I am resisting but it's getting harder.

As for Facebook--not interested.

mannequin said...

Yes, yes, yes. I WANT to like them, just like I WANT to like ice cream and hot chocolate. But I don't get it..

Nancy Flanagan said...

Like any other addictive thing (chocolate, fantasy novels, merlot, worrying) it's all about control. I have a Facebook account. It's made my professional life more interesting, because there are lots of cool people who use it as a virtual watering hole. It's also a timesucker, and privacy-invader, but those are things that you can control. Right?

Teri said...

I don't hang out on Facebook for hours on end like so many people. I'm just not sure how I would find enough to do there. I like the occasional update, but (to be quite honest) I really don't care about finding a bunch of people from high school. Egads, am I a meany?

Punkn said...

Hi Scribe. I found you through Ladystyx's blog and lo and behold happened onto this timely post. My daughter talked me into joining Facebook just last week so she could talk to me and share things. It is great! I've not only hooked up with her but with many of her old friends who used to spend time at our house. I keep getting these "Hi Mom" messages. Yep, I'm hooked!

Marrdy said...

I signed up for Facebook about 18 months ago but just barely began to TRY to use it. I don't have time for it. I have family and friends sending me flowers, throwing snowballs and water ballons at me and sending me kisses. Do I answer each of these? Do I have to send one back? I am confused!! I love blogging and I don't even have time for that anymore and now Facebook!

Tracy P. said...

All of the sudden it's the biggest mom thing!! BUT, my nephews have now friended me, and they're in college. I must rock! ;-) (Or at least I can think that.)

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