So many of my more "mature" friends have succumbed to your wiley ways. You've seduced more than 150 million people on this planet since 2004. Could that figure be correct? Say it isn't so! But your stats online say it is.
More than half of those you're involved with aren't even in college. And I know that pisses the 19-somethings off no end. Their jealousy reaches to infinity & beyond when they discover your deceit. You're cheating with their Moms, their Great Uncle Joes, even their Grandmas! Have you no shame?
When others came calling, I resisted. Twitter tried to tweet me, but I turned the other cheek. MySpace once had me interested, but I didn't like living on the edge like that.
Your artifices are transparent. I know you want me for only one thing. And I'm not that kind of girl!
But you're wearing me out. Your magnetism is too strong, your reach too wide. I can feel the heat of your aura beating down on my soul. I fear I, too, may soon fall under your cyber-spell.
Give me a reason to want you. You don't need to send me chocolate-covered strawberries, or blow wet kisses in my ear. Just give me a real reason to care.