Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Booty Call

OHHS has a dress code, of sorts. Our Student Rights & Responsibilities Handbook--the "Bible," after a fashion, listing all of the do's & don'ts, what's punishable & what's not--clearly (or not so clearly, depending on your point-of-view) states that "inappropriate" clothing Shall Not BeWorn by Our Cherubs. Principal Man, et al, has further clarified this rule by instituting a "Breasts, Bellys & Butts" Advisory. In other words, one's clothing must not plunge too far, nor rise too much or, in the case of the gentlemen, come too close to falling off.

As an aside to that last comment, we witnessed the funniest enforcement of the OHHS Dress Code a couple of months ago. We have an AP--we'll call him Mr. G, 'cause that's one of his initials--who used to play for the Chicago Bears. The man was a pro defensive something-or-other, and he's HUGE, especially in relation to some of the little runts he rides herd over daily. He was walking down the Band Hallway in between classes, and he saw a youngin' in Flagrant Violation of the Droopy Drawers Rule. Mr. G sauntered on up to the Young Man, grabbed him on either side of his butt-crackers, and pulled his pantalones up to his armpits. In the process, Mr. G. jacked that boy about 2 feet off the ground. HIGH-larious!

Anywho, back to the Triple-B rule. We've had unseasonably cool weather of late, so no flagrant violations have been reported. But the Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow, as Annie would say, and so will the beach--aka, not for school--wear. We've started to see evidence of the trend toward scanty summer clothing in our classes. Don't know how those girls even sit down or reach for that book in the very bottom or on the tippy top of their lockers. And some of them--seriously--defy gravity in their fashion choices.

Which brings us to a reflection on our own high school experience, such as it was. Can't quite recollect all of the gory details, but we seem to remember no pants for the girls 'til senior year, and if we had double seams on the outside of our jeans (as was popular at the time in the Southwest, especially on Wranglers), we weren't allowed to wear 'em at all. And boys? If their hair touched the top of their collars (don't remember if they were allowed to wear T-shirts or not), they were out, plain & simple. In fact, when we first moved to Texas at the end of 8th grade, we also remember the lecherous old coot who called himself a principal, and would haul girls down to the office to measure the length of their skirts. We were forever being sent to the Home Ec room to borrow the seam-ripper, then circling back to the Art room to borrow the masking tape to hike our skirts up even higher than before.

A colleague recently shared an article from her son's middle-school newspaper about dress codes of the past, which started us reflecting on all this janx. It alludes to the "typical High School in 1963"--which, of course, is way before our existence was even contemplated--and the dress code that was employed back in the Land Before Time. We'd like to share a couple of tidbits with you.
  1. Boys: Long- or short-sleeved shirts, top buttoned or unbuttoned, or dress shirts and tie may be worn from September to Thanksgiving and from April vacation until June; sports coat or suit coat from Thanksgiving to April vacation; coat-style sweater, shirt and tie; any kind of sweater under a sports coat; trousers, clean and pressed; shoes, either desert boots (would Timbalands be acceptable?), saddle shoes, loafers, or dress shoes. Hairstyles must be reasonable and boys must be cleanly shaven.
  2. Not acceptable for boys: Dungarees, peg-style, tight fitted trousers; soiled or wrinkled trousers; sneakers and engineering (what the heck are those?) boots; sweatshirts, and polo or T-shirts; string ties; trousers cuffs rolled to extreme.
  3. Girls: Blouses, sweaters, jackets (blazers), jumpers, suits, dresses, shifts (w/ or w/o belts), and skirts. No extreme hairstyles such as beehives, un-naturally colored hair, mushrooms (huh?) and those that are high or out from the face; no hairstyles extremely teased or feathered; no wigs or ornate jewelry; no heavy make-up, eye shadow, lipstick, and long fingernails.
  4. Not acceptable for girls: Sneakers and sandals; V-necked sweaters without blouses; short skirts (above mid-knee); party-type dresses; slacks; shorts; tight sweaters or skirts; sweatshirts, or culottes.

All we have to say is that if we tried to be this strict at OHHS, the truant officer would be very busy. Props to the Fashion Mavens of Our Time, though, for ditching the beehive and the mushroom, whatever that is!

16 comments:

HappyChyck said...

The 3B's--the three reasons I am sooooo thankful to work in schools with standard student dress attire. There's just stuff nobody wants to see!

Melissa B. said...

Happy: Can we get a big AMEN to that?

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